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I Keep Going Back and Forth in Here LOL



I find myself switching from going through my stories, setbacks, and triumphs with the now. Maybe I should do bloggong a different way to make it more cohesive. Just a thought. It's been a tough couple of days and i sure miss my Labor day vaca right about now. I'm getting to that middle of the fence post feeling again. You know fall one way and you start flying again or fall the other right onto your butt. I have been getting bouts of nervous anxiety and problems myself and my immediate family are coming to blows. I should put my big girl panties on (and I do) and just take care of business. I just get tired and depressed and anxious. I've been trying to keep myself busy: I took my annuals out of their pots and planted the day lilies in the ground. I'm now thinking of something for fall to grow in there. I've been going through all of my files and all the things that should be in files and trying to tackle the job. My daughter says I am a bit OCD about it but I feel like if I get them like I want them then it will be easy to find and get what I need in a snap. I really don't care what my busy work is except washing dishes...I loathe it. I feel it's better than succumbing and going to sleep all the time which is what I want to do. Sometimes I need to....sometimes I just want to be asleep cause i don't think or feel anxious about the days events. I think that kind is escaping and I'm feeling it won't do me a bit of good. If any of you have your own things you do when teetering I'd love to here them, please share. Until next time...


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I had periods of anxiety after Ray died.  When I was first widowed it was difficult to know what to do and so I did whatever was at hand to do, which seems to me that is what you are doing now.  I found the solution for me was going back to making lists.  I would make a list of what I expected to do in a day and just work my way through as much of it as I could handle, sometimes that was very little, other times more.  After a while I  could do it without making a list.  By then I realised that how well I was doing did not depended on what I thought I should be doing but rather simply that I achieved one of the larger jobs (like the laundry or some cooking) every single day. I think it is better not to have too many expectations of yourself and understand that whatever happens you are just doing your best.

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