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Things are changing...



It's been a while since I have written a blog. Just haven't been able to sit and do it. First I am so much better from having a really bad respiratory infection that triggered my asthma terribly. I can't explain what it's like to not be able to breathe in air. It is scary and panic is right at your surface. I have had to use a nebulizer for 2 weeks to get effect from my asthma medicine it just delivers it so much better. Then right in the middle of it I get the most horrendous urinary tracy infection. Needless to say I really felt bad. My doctor made me come in again because his nurse told him I looked and sounded horrible when I went in to give a urine sample. Finally though I am beginning to feel better. I've had a lot on my mind this last month...my daughter and I are not getting along at all and she has decided to move on her own to get away from me or me and my husband. I wish I could say I am boasting how proud I am that she is growing up and finding her independance but it has been a roller coaster ride. My daughter can say really hurtful things, downright mean things, as a mom it makes me question myself as a stroke survivor it cause extreme anxiety. My husband also has a new job which is great because he is making so much more now. We didn't find out that they don't cover "domestic Partners" (he and I are not "really" married but we have lived as such) on their insurance plan. So I went from having insurance to thinking that soon I would have insurance again but now we find out that Cobra will be 1000/month and the marketplace about 850. I won't know until later today if I will be getting any insurance. Adrian told me he would take care of it so I have tried to put my faith in his words but it will be difficult...rent is due and other bills and food. I have worried myself to death. I'm so scared of not having insurance. The amount of medicine I take, the amount of Doctors I see and the fear of having another stroke is just weighing on me. Ok for the positive part my mom gave me a great wooden shelf that works perfectly as a kitchen island and it matches my cabinets like it was meant to be. It has made me so happy and I have just told her over and over how thankful I am. Just life's roller coaster it will get better...this too will change.


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