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Memories and Dreams



I just dreamed The Teacher came to an unknown apartment to speak to me about my two boys being absent too much and I stood in my nightgown telling her I had a stroke. We did not have anything to eat. I woke up. Gosh I have always had food and my kids went to school way before stroke. I feel so sad from this dream. I think about my memories all the time. I am robbed living in this nursing home. I lack any life. I only deal with pain relief. It is not the balance or stroke things.


I am lucky to be in a room with a glorious view and a roomie that is nice but I long to have a place of my own. Pain holds me back from living but I get out as much as I can do it.


I am caught up in memories and the dreams I had for my life for myself. For now I make art collages from magazines that show my identity. I appreciate my froends who stop by and see my collages. Those pictures show the world who I am. I must get out and be among those who are brave enough to be yes it is me.


Every day is a fight to hold onto myself. I want my dignity. I thank God.


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I'm not sure I could have handled living in a nursing home or a facility and glad my wife brought me home to survive with her by my side.....

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Pam, it is not easy living in a nursing home as Mum did and Ray did and one day I am sure I will too.  That is why I visit some ladies from our church who are in nursing homes, so they see a fresh face, can tell me their stories and we can have that time of friendship.  For some I know it will be the only visit that week. 

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