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Passing Out Asleep*



I lose time. I wake up in uncomfortable positions. I wear a back brace now. I hate how the parade of you do not have the latest tekky stu$f goes on.. it gets teeny or bigger but it still is a phone. people d11111o not lok me in the eye.
I am on meds. I need to be but I am so[ afraid.
Is anyone delse havinryg sleep difficulties. I cry. I oversleep me help meds. I must live this way. I wish the spinal would last longer.


I color and watch birds. Days zoom by
I love my kids and wait to see them.
I do not have strength to always get up walk around so I rest. But sleep robs me of precious time or gives me pure relief in the land of dreams where I recognize my life even if it is weird. I do not like it. I want to have peace calm.


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Pam, we all just go on from day to day.  Since I have been a widow i have nothing to mark the passing on my days.  What I do is fill the time up in any way I can.  I know you do too.  I am not sure life has meaning of itself, but I think the kindness we are able to show others and the time we share with loved ones are the markers now.  Keep going my friend, you are doing well despite your pain and suffering.

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pam, I do wish you relief in your "land of dreams".  we must hope that someday your land of dreams will become  your real land! I must admit I cannot imagine your life but am thankful and grateful that you are telling me.  your cry reaches me to the bone.  your poetry is clear.

wishing you a bit of peace my friend,



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Thank you for finding my message in a bottle.


Sue in my hospital where I go for various docs and PT there is a white board that says"What makes your life meaningful" and there are post its to put up your answer. I wrote a similar thing you did. Amazing. I wrote that the kindnesses i give or recieve make my life meaningful.    I am dependent now. I rely on kindness. I am able to be kind to others.  We are here for eachother. that is all.

Thanks David for listening.

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