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That Voice


SassyBetsy

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The cna who touched my leg has a booming voice and perhaps thinks everyone wants to hear her every comment or wants to wake the dead. She makes comments. snide scarcasm. she laughs. like that was a joke. weird. dumb comments. cruel.

 

That voice chills my soul. Now she takes care of the rooms around mine. not in here but her voice is in here. constantly. except her break. she talks naturally projecting. She is a big woman too. Already established she does not have concern for others. she is a bulldozer.

 

The loud voice is shrill. claws on chalkboards. I always hated that voice. I always knew when she entered the building..and left. Is Loudness a complaint? Now her close proximity is more annoying. She is not nice. I am sleeping in today. watching soaps later. day full. I am hiding. recovering.

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Damn I think that's a reasonable complaint I guess I always told the staff that work for me when I oversaw the group homes the individuals living there allow us to provide them support in their home and unfortunately at this point in your life your room is your home and you have every right to rest in peace then again we make sure that our employees new our mission statement to provide the highest quality supports

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 For some people that voice is their main personality trait. I have a loud laugh, I know some people find that grating, some love it.  Your cna is who she is. Think of it as distant thunder or rattling tin cans, something loud but harmless, do not let her voice dominate your world.  Have a good rest today and see what tomorrow brings.

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I am not talking about just loud. This is my tormentor I reported for touching me in a cruel sadistic manner that caused me pain. Now she works all around me and I hear her everywhere. I asked that she not be near me so she is not except for her voice. I am closoing the door yet my roommate must be taken care of as she is paralyzed. So I must endure how they treat us. They hire what is there to work cheap or phillipino group. some are caring and some want a paycheck easily.

 

I sleep to escape here. I want to leave but no where to go from here. the ombudsman came today telling me about her cruise vacation showing off her hair and manicure and totebag. then patted my shoulder saying you are not usual cheerful self. I felt she was insensitive. I felt envy. then shame. I am happy for others outsyide living a good busy life. my problems are so petty.

 

I feel violated trapped. Oh there will be staff inservice for her. that is it. but I only care she is away from me and others take heed to not hurt me.

 

sorry my post is dismal.

I will try buck up. Angels are here for me.

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Sorry, my reply didn't take into account that she was your tormentor.  I guess there is some fear in what you feel too.  All I can send as usual is (((Hugs))).

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I think I really understand what you are saying. My daughter (who is not a tormentor- just for reference) is like a bull in a china shop as my mom puts it. She is loud and thunderous. Her walking and talking make it very clear that she is here. She is anything but light on her feet LOL. I have never figured out why but I too have had moments where it feels like I have to get in my unbreakable room or hide. She can be moody and boy does anyone in the house know it if she is here! "Bulldozer" was a great word to use!  I'm always saying "ssshhhhh" but she could care less what anyone else thinks. I can see so clearly how you can feel unease when you hear that bulldozer arrive until she leaves. If I were in your shoes it would resinate to my bones and I would be on edge the whole time as well as it would bring up those painful memories of her unwanted touch. It's like being man handled (no offense to men I love you) with a voice. I am so sorry you have to endure that it has to be really hard. Hugs to you my friend and hugs to the kind nurses and souls who help you throughout your day. :blushing:

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Thanks Tracy for getting it.  I feel better knowing understanding is healing. Ventinh helps change my attitude. I am going out to therapy on thurs. On fri the state is coming to talk to me. I will tell truth. I am not scared. I hate confrontation. I showered today. my hair is fresh. I am ready. Yes I hide sleep yes cower a little. vulnerable.alone. I told my son but I said stay away. I do not want him tormented.

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