I miss family who died who were WWII veterans and who served in Vietnam and just list a war and member of this clan was in the Navy branch at some time. That makes me proud but I never lost a son or daughter or lost someone diring a war so never had that unendurable pain. I hold this day as a day of recalling loss. all kinds to start over from. A beginning of Summer. Fresh Fun waiting to go start adventures. I was told vacations lower blood pressure and shopping is relaxing walking playing for those of us not chasing frisbees anymore.

I kept my super wide brim hat to sit in sun plus I have a knit scarf with coconut shell buttons. It is my traveling pants. They go all over with me when I go out of here.  Now that my daughter has left me I do not go out for fun. I ask my son but he says he is busy and plans for later. I sob myself to sleep and listen to music to calm my aching heart. My daughter has destroyed my heart and I hardly understand her ungrateful misunderstanding talk or interpretation of life

 She blames me that her brother stopped talking to her. I understand he stopped helping her. I miss our family. This is petty but we had a family phone plan and she benefitted for years never paying but she recently said we are not a family and said she is not using it. She is still on it because her phone was a cheap addition. But is she really on her own phone or is she in another state with baby. They said no activity so I want to take her off but sh can never get n for this price. They said yes add more at this price because of grandfather plan. Just feel my heart break. She never sends me photos of baby. She took him away out of my life. My crying for him never stops. He is ill could die but she does not bring him to me. My son says I was good mother. Daughter had dance lessons and never worked during 5 years tring to go to college. She is bitter stroke left her homeless. It forced her to grow up get working live on her own. This is why I am hated. I try forget this. I told her to keep her child. I said I got some money to help. I bought clothing and stuff but she then said the dad wanted to buy everything and I was shut out.

I want to forget her stuff and focus on my good son who never hurts me forgives my shortcomings and loves me forever. 

oh she disappeared last xmas no call no baby pictures. So I took my son on a wonderful road trip. When I saw D in january I told her Why you shut me out of xmas? I said ok. then said what I did for xmas. So now she is furious she was left out of family vacay. oh BS she wants me alone in the home and likes taunting me about seeing her or the baby.

But she is my girl so it kills me.

But I plan more trips with son this summer. Is she using the phone??If no activity this month I will end it.

I called her for her Bday. she was angry said what do you want? like I was evil mom. son assures me I always help and love her but she always trouble. I said I love all kids no matter what but she never want it. never need me but says I not there for her. she hurts. But I cannot fix it. She said her friends love her more than I ever did.  This is why son not help her.

This stroke destroyed our family. During one year at home then I went to nursing home. all gone. my life. my family. my daughter. busy son.

Thankfully pain meds help all pain.