So obviously Dan didn't manage to end his life. Which is good. I am still plugging along.. still go get Dan almost daily take him out, feed him is Mc Donalds etc. My basic perturbness going on right now is the rampant laziness at the nursing home...... OMG I do at least 80 % of Dans daily cares-- but getting a floor washed or vacuumed is hard, I'm gonna need to bring my own vacuum soon. I clean his bathroom , it takes 15 plus minutes to get a call light answered -its ridiculous. There are good , caring hard working staff there- but lately the lazy are eating through the good ones.
Leaving me with the dilemma , every time i take them to task, it creates this passive aggressive thing. The thing the staff love to say is, Dan won't let me. Which has been true on occasion but never has he stopped anyone from delivering towels and wash clothes. "Dan won't let me"- I want to haul off and smack someone, everytime they use that excuse to not even try. During Dans recent depression - he did refuse everyone and everything.... But now its like the staff have figured out - just say - "Dan doesn't like me" and its like fairy dust- magical , they don't have to. So I do, I don't like it , but I do it because it is the right thing to do. Sad part is- this is the best nursing home in town... I shudder to think about the others.... I can't, - couldn't care for him at home- his OCD is very difficult - no doubt, but GOD Im still doing it. I have seen staff walk right passed his room with both his lights on - carrying garbage. I have directed them to the fact both lights are on, was told essentially the garbage is more important. GGGGRRRRRRR. When I do finally decide I have had enough, then what?