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Dear Blog



Dear Blog, 

It has been a while since I wrote anything. I use my phone now for internet stuff since my tablet with keyboard is never charged up. I have held things inside. I was wrestling with myself. I was too tired, or in too much pain to think. And people get tired of hearing it...and I get tired of thinking it.


I am grateful I recovered from that awful flu, which turned sinus infection. It postponed the spinal RFA until I was off antibiotics and all well. 2 months late, I did get it, thank God! But that proves how much it works and helps me.


I am grateful I joined a live stroke support group. It is for both stroke and TBI, only 5 people, but fun. Not anything new, but for me a chance to be around peers. They were shocked I live at long term care, but I am grateful for the help I get.


I advocated loudly for better nursing care and got it, but the ombudsman cautioned me that they can evict, then I just buttoned up. But not for long. I talked to my social worker who said I give constructive criticism. I said, all I want is a nurse who brings meds on time. So, I stopped complaining to them. Lately now if any probs, I call my doctors and ask them to call here. They have straightened out things because they monitor me on the meds. That has worked. Little things are worse when I hurt and I need help. I am grateful.


Do not make fun of my mint green bunny with pink rosary beads, mother of pearl rosary beeds, and evil eye beads around her neck. This is comfort central. I hug it, pray, and sure it helps.  I was months with only drugs that hardly help, and I sat crying,hugging,praying.  Do not shame what you do not understand. My inner child, my painful body, this CPS thing that any biofeedback thing may help.....if I would get to a biofeedback clinic....well my home remedy would be pray, music, because as anyone with this knows, screaming, upset, just increases the pain stuff. Now I must say I have full adult cognitive powers intact. Why are stuffed animals just for kids.....so I bought my adult son a small one for his desk...it is tiny dark blue.


So I am having a blessed year so far. 


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Hi Pam, Good to have you back on the board/blog.  I approve of stuffed animals especially where/when access to live animals is not easy. Thankfully I have a family/friends who think similarly I was given a great collection of soft toys while I was in rehab, I know they helped, the best was a full size articulated teddy bear that I called Lenin and kept in my hospital bed with me. don't let anyone shame you about bunny I like that she has her prayer beads as well.




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Pam :


good to see you blog again, glad your pain is in control which allows you to focus on some of the positivesaspects of life. keep on trying whatever works for you.






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Pam I am really so glad that you have seen and felt improvement. I would never shame a warm fuzzy live or not! I can't begin to tell you all the times I have needed my kitty real and stuffed and feel comforted better than anything/anyone else around. It is something that speaks to the inner child which was sometimes when we needed consoled and comforted the most. Own her...I do. Hugs.

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