Dear Blog, 

It has been a while since I wrote anything. I use my phone now for internet stuff since my tablet with keyboard is never charged up. I have held things inside. I was wrestling with myself. I was too tired, or in too much pain to think. And people get tired of hearing it...and I get tired of thinking it.

I am grateful I recovered from that awful flu, which turned sinus infection. It postponed the spinal RFA until I was off antibiotics and all well. 2 months late, I did get it, thank God! But that proves how much it works and helps me.

I am grateful I joined a live stroke support group. It is for both stroke and TBI, only 5 people, but fun. Not anything new, but for me a chance to be around peers. They were shocked I live at long term care, but I am grateful for the help I get.

I advocated loudly for better nursing care and got it, but the ombudsman cautioned me that they can evict, then I just buttoned up. But not for long. I talked to my social worker who said I give constructive criticism. I said, all I want is a nurse who brings meds on time. So, I stopped complaining to them. Lately now if any probs, I call my doctors and ask them to call here. They have straightened out things because they monitor me on the meds. That has worked. Little things are worse when I hurt and I need help. I am grateful.

Do not make fun of my mint green bunny with pink rosary beads, mother of pearl rosary beeds, and evil eye beads around her neck. This is comfort central. I hug it, pray, and sure it helps.  I was months with only drugs that hardly help, and I sat crying,hugging,praying.  Do not shame what you do not understand. My inner child, my painful body, this CPS thing that any biofeedback thing may help.....if I would get to a biofeedback clinic....well my home remedy would be pray, music, because as anyone with this knows, screaming, upset, just increases the pain stuff. Now I must say I have full adult cognitive powers intact. Why are stuffed animals just for kids.....so I bought my adult son a small one for his desk...it is tiny dark blue.

So I am having a blessed year so far.