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My Best Best Friend


SassyBetsy

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I need an echocardiogram, pelvic MRI, RFA Spinal, brain MRI again and I am feeling scared and overwhelmed. I will do it but I feel invaded. Alone. But my best friend lives states away and is my lifeline on my phone. 

 

We grew up together since kindergarten. We know our histories. She is my sister. It helps to have her inspire me when I get down

 so many here are cruel. she wants me to live with her but she is the country mouse so we worry that I would miss my big teaching hospital care. so.....

 

 Pain team suggests spinal implant stimulation. I need a screening process first. I am scared but I hurt still on the meds. I wish I was normal.

 

I do not blog because I am busy coloring. My hobby consumes me. I sleep all the time too. But I love you guys and hope this new year brings all the best for you.

 

I am self absorbed now sometimes but I appreciate my best friend and my Son who love me back to life. I live on the border of life now so I am in a different place.  I am useless but try and love those around me now here in this institution of suffering and healing. I am grateful to see 2018 but it is a foreign place I was not prepared to land in. I will do my best to do all I am required with help of grace.

 

Best hugs to all.

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Pam :

 

good to see your positive blog, happy new year to you. don't worry about tests you can not control about. worry is down payment on debt you might never even owe. so just go with flow & stay in present moment & count all the blessings of life. when you live in act of gratitude that's what you attract more.

 

Asha

 

 

 

 

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Pam, I am always glad to see a blog from you because it means you are thinking and thinking outside the place in which you live.  It would be easy to see life as a journey to the grave and not see the real meaning of life which  for me is to connect with others.  I am just going for more tests myself which if scary as the Big "C" dominates my thinking again. So hugs and prayers are coming your way dear friend.

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Yes Asha worry is my form of planning and scheming my way around things as if I can get out of MRIs!

 

Yes Sue you nailed it!!

And I too wait to hear about Big C which runs heavy in my ancestors.

Holidays here meant advocating for others, visiting patient friends confined in rooms. 

 

My afternoon CNAs bought me a Santa gift. A red turtleneck shirt with white glitter reindeer, merry christmas words and design. I love it. 

 

I do have days I feel Im on that highway to hell...painful days.

 

But I agree life is about connections. I am never alone here. I have good friends here. But ya know me, I fight when I am mistreated or I see mistreatment. I am told speak up and believe me someday I will see fruit.

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" I am self absorbed now sometimes but I appreciate my best friend and my Son who love me back to life. I live on the border of life now so I am in a different place.  I am useless but try and love those around me now here in this institution of suffering and healing. I am grateful to see 2018 but it is a foreign place I was not prepared to land in. I will do my best to do all I am required with help of grace. "

 

 

I can't explain it but these statements struck me with sage..  You are unyielding Image result for we do what we must

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