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Sometimes I Am Overwhelmed by the Smallest Things



The last 2-2.5 months I've been dealing with a throat issue. Chronic hoarseness, ear pain, and my throat stinging. A couple of weeks ago I went to an ENT who looked in my throat and at my vocal cords. He seems to think my vocal cords have thrush from my asthma inhaler so he had me take a 2 week course of Diflucan. A month ago I filled out paperwork for financial assistance at Vanderbilt for this procedure and any ongoing appointments or therapy I may have. I got the letter today telling me I have been denied. I had a pretty quick response and welled up with tears. This just reminds me that I have no insurance because I can't work and am still going through the disability process. I've been dealing with some depression over the past 4 months and I am trying to get on top of it. Today just hit the wrong way and makes me feel more depressed and upset. I feel like I am feeling sorry for myself or whining. It's just been such a long disability process and I have been through some pretty rough things the past year. It adds up....especially since the stroke. I just feel so tired. I'm sleeping more and more I think. Just want to be asleep. So that's where I am today and I'm hoping I can turn these feelings around soon. 


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Oh Tracy, HUGS Having to fight for basic health needs sucks, its not like you don't have enough problems already. It makes me so glad I live here where basic medical services are mostly government funded, we might have to wait for things that are not considered urgent and make some co payments, but mostly we do OK.


I do hope you find a way out of the depressive cycle, the sleepiness could so easily just be a depression symptom.  But when you are already feeling a bit down, something like that is such a kick in the guts.  Been there a few times lately myself because a new medication was stopping my lexapro from fully metabolising. Was a relatively simply fix once I worked out what was going on, but small things can be so overwhelming and hurtful when you're already running close to the edge.


Take care and I hope you find the energy to keep on fighting. YOU CAN DO THIS



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Tracy :

I  just wondered have you hired disability insurance lawyer who can fight on your behalf & get your SSDI approved, I have heard from people having those lawyers did help them in getting those benefits, ye there might be some flat fee but at-least you get your benefits. I am sorry you are encountering some setbacks in life, but just dust themselves off you are strong woman can get through this challenge too




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Thankfully Asha I do have a lawyer now. It takes about 12-14 months in TN to get a hearing from the time you appealed which was in November. I am very hopeful and I think my recent depression has just brought back a lot of negative feelings and fears. Thank you for your positive words. I also feel like I have to do my part to help kick depression. Today I got my hair cut in a totally different style. I have had long hair for 20 years probably but I had about 10-12 inches cut off into a A-line Bob. I love it! It's what I needed today. Helps me feel good about myself. My mom is one of a kind...She treated me this fun day. So I'm not giving up don't you worry. I just need to get feelings off my mind/chest...It helps me to let it out.

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Update: To give some good news I spoke with the Financial Assistance department today at Vanderbilt and the only thing that stopped my approval was my lack of a 2017 tax return. I explained that I was unemployed the year of 2016 and am still going through the disability process so I didn't have a tax return for 2017. She said I just needed to send a copy of the disability letter about the ongoing process and a cover letter with the statement of why I don't have a 2017 tax return. She told me to take their letter and my disability letter to my follow up appointment on Monday so they would know where we were in application appeal. All good news. 🙆

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So many times they need more information and they say no rather than explaining what the problem is.  At least you got some response.  I had a request for funding for special controls in my car that sat at the disability support office for over 6 months because 1 piece of information was missing and they didn't bother to let me or the OT who did the application for me know.  It was only when I asked what's happening that we found out. I hadn't pushed before as I'd been told it takes 6 months for you to get to the top of the queue for funding. Luckily once we found out and the missing info was provided my OT was able to get them to recognise the wait time already done so I went pretty much to the top of the queue. And my new car controls are wonderful!


Fingers crossed this all gets sorted out for you soon.  How about a photo with your new hair cut?  You won't know yourself if you've had it long for a long time.

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I will put that up Heather! Tonight though is past the good hair day lol so I will take a picture soon and share. It's true I feel light...and cooler. This may be pretty good for the summer.

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Please that you got a response, government department needs a lot of patient dealing with them.  Deep breath, and thinking positive, that helps. Great that you got your hair cut, doing things for our self always cheer us up. 



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Thanks Yvonne. Tonight I went to my mom's and she colored the gray right out of my hair. 😃 I'm 45 and those little gray hairs framing my face stick out like glitter. Never hurts to feel younger lol.

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When I read :

On ‎5‎/‎15‎/‎2018 at 4:00 AM, tmciriani said:

Thanks Yvonne. Tonight I went to my mom's and she colored the gray right out of my hair. 😃 

is it wrong that I sang it? Darn jingle 

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