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******sigh******


ksmith

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 It’s been a while since I have made a block here. I am been in a funk. A funk that I don’t often talk about and I try not to talk about on the website. I try to always be happy and cheerful and I love to encourage other people. But as of late, I am been in a deep funk. Akin to a depression. In bed , can’t quite get out, however I  do you go to work on the four days that I do strictly because you have to make ends meet.  I guess it’s just the 810 year itch you could say. Coming to terms that I have exhausted most of my doctors to try to see if the last bit a remnant could come back to at least have good eyesight or good balance. I listen to a lot of people and I am encouraged by other peoples journeys and other peoples advice and I try to take it myself but as of late I’ve been almost nonexistent and that is why. But after talking to my family and friends, I have been doing a lot better,  I think that when the weather changes and the sun is out and it’s a warm hopefully I will feel better. I also know that as of the end of June when I do have to cut my hours back, but unfortunately I will be working every weekend which stinks, I should have a lot more energy and a lot more time to reflect on all of the good things that I have and as far as I got him. I guess a lot has to do with the memory and I getting into this anxiety about not remembering how I got to be 44, which sounds bizarre, and I’ll be turning 45 this month and it scares me for I think that my life is halfway over and I don’t know how  I even got here. 

 

 But like I said this is only a temporary funk and I think that I’ve been getting a whole lot better, I feel good, and I’m doing a lot of self reflecting which I think that’s going to help me and now you’ll be inundated with my positive comments to the point that you probably want to smack me in the face. :lol:

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Kelli :

 

its acceptance phase you are struggling with, is that all my life will be mount to? but once you stop resisting, accept & go with flow, you will find out that life will open up lot of new opportunities & things  will turn out to be better than you ever imagined. yes some things are less than desirable, but whatever things you are left with is more attractive. Try to be better person you were the day before. Only competition we have is with our own self. be best mom, grandma, daughter, friend.

 

hope you feel better soon.

 

Asha

 

 

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I have a feeling this is a time to time thing, based on the end of Winter and the coming of Spring, a late version of SAD, I get it in September each year.Then I question who I am, what I do, how effective I am at that. I question why I am alone, if anyone "out there" cares about me even. In the end I do what ASHA suggests and just let time pass and somehow I find myself enjoying life again. I hope you find the same Kelli (((Hugs))).

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Kelli I love you... You make me smile inside. I am pretty sure that the coming of spring bouncing to life will have a good impact for you. That of course doesn't make all better but there is some truth in "spring fever". I can only imagine right now being in your shoes. If I do I can absolutely understand where you are. I'd probably be similar and question the same things. 😉 You are always positive with everyone... I know it's genuine but that doesn't mean that your same moments dictate how you care for others (I feel that is a really awesome attribute... we don't all have this great ability). Give yourself permission to to have the feels you have at the moment. During this be really good to yourself and always know you have a whole network of support with fluffy pillows to curl up in. I am here for you as a friend. I absolutely do not doubt you'll be passing along the positive abundantly! Thank you for sharing... It feels good to let it out. 🙂 (((hugs))) 

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Thank you for sharing Kelli.

 

Please be open with us. You are such a great support here; knowing we support you is important for all of us.

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