******sigh******
Entry posted by ksmith
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It’s been a while since I have made a block here. I am been in a funk. A funk that I don’t often talk about and I try not to talk about on the website. I try to always be happy and cheerful and I love to encourage other people. But as of late, I am been in a deep funk. Akin to a depression. In bed , can’t quite get out, however I do you go to work on the four days that I do strictly because you have to make ends meet. I guess it’s just the 810 year itch you could say. Coming to terms that I have exhausted most of my doctors to try to see if the last bit a remnant could come back to at least have good eyesight or good balance. I listen to a lot of people and I am encouraged by other peoples journeys and other peoples advice and I try to take it myself but as of late I’ve been almost nonexistent and that is why. But after talking to my family and friends, I have been doing a lot better, I think that when the weather changes and the sun is out and it’s a warm hopefully I will feel better. I also know that as of the end of June when I do have to cut my hours back, but unfortunately I will be working every weekend which stinks, I should have a lot more energy and a lot more time to reflect on all of the good things that I have and as far as I got him. I guess a lot has to do with the memory and I getting into this anxiety about not remembering how I got to be 44, which sounds bizarre, and I’ll be turning 45 this month and it scares me for I think that my life is halfway over and I don’t know how I even got here.
But like I said this is only a temporary funk and I think that I’ve been getting a whole lot better, I feel good, and I’m doing a lot of self reflecting which I think that’s going to help me and now you’ll be inundated with my positive comments to the point that you probably want to smack me in the face. 
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