Im not sure how to write this--- do I take the high road ? Or the low road... ? I guess my present situation is the "BOTH" situation. My brother has been very sick . He ultimately has been diagnosed with liver cancer with no hope of effective treatment. It is terminal. He was given approx. 4 months to live. Guess where he is at ? YUP- my house. He is a bachelor, so no wife or kids to lean on. My older sister don't want him dying at her house and the rest of the family just shrugged their shoulders. I don't want the guy to feel unloved or uncared for. So I have him here until it gets to the point of nursing home necessity.
He was diagnosed with diabetes about 5 years ago -- was always active and healthy. Not overweight and he was a very active sportsman physical worker kinda guy. But here we are. His energy level is nil - .
I'm happy enough to help him , but of course Dan who is in the nursing home - is smelling a rat. Is feeling like - HEY - Nancy can take care of him- but not me, her husband! So far he is understanding - sorta - . I understand his resentment ( and its not as overt as I may have made it sound).
Ive been doing ok with my depression and trying to ration my energy . But having another person to care for is more than I wanted to do. But DAMN no one gets to choose - yes I could just shrug to and say gee- I'd like to help , but ( insert excuse ). But Im just not that person. Poor boundaries some people say . But I guess when I meet my maker I wanna have errored on the side of have done to much rather than the gal who wrings her hands and says geez, I would, but I can't, so I won't.
But my brother earl is another eggshell guy . He has a history of tantrums ( thus bachelor) but he has always known his limits and would just leave when he felt anger. But now he can't leave. So far no issues - but Im pretty aware of his hot spots. My younger sister comes and looks in on him while Im at work for a hour or two. But boy when she don't have to she don't.
Frankly Im feeling a bit used by my family . I somehow ended up taking care of all his work issues ( there is a lot to do - FMLA and leave benefits- insurance etc. ) and just when I think I got something taken care of another issue pops up. And about 50% of his medical information and appts. we gotta travel 200 miles one way for apps and no matter what - that crap never gets coordinated. I made it clear to the family I DID NOT WANT THE LEGAL/ SCHEDULING / FINANCIAL -- But here I am .... I so smart - Ive been through it etc. etc. and honestly I am and I have - but that is their cue to just dump it on me.
Any how Im just bitchin- and I coulda just wrung my hands and ran away. But if everyone had " Boundries " no one would ever help anyone. I hear people preaching that -- and I get that but when you truly think on it what is that? If Jesus had boundries- -----