Heart Felt Thanks, I am lucky
How can a month be full of some of the saddest moment and the highest highs and show me where the gratefulness grows.
Today I'm morning a very good friend of mine here in the nursing home that I met shortly after I arrived years ago. There were times when I thought that she was going to outlive me even though she was in her late 90s. It's a mystery that she did not reach a hundred I'm told but I'm not sure which number after 5 she reached but anyway there she was sitting at the table with the deck of cards I know I seen her before and she always was playing solitaire. Even in the dining room I would see you're playing solitaire waiting for her food or waiting to be taken somewhere. She never went anywhere without her cards. No I was too caught up in my problems with my leg but when they did get me on a good management plan I would go into the common room pretty often and see her there.
One day she just called me over and safety want to play cards he talked clear and she seemed to have good vision and hearing and so when I found out how old she was later on I was surprised. But on that first day she taught me how to play double solitaire. I never heard of The Thing but not being a solitaire player I wasn't sure about any of it. But then other people were telling me that she taught her own way but that really wasn't how to play solitaire and of course I had a good laugh over that and that was just fine with me if I was playing my own way.
So then as we got to know each other she sometimes didn't see so well but she was very hard of hearing in fact she needed to wear hearing aids to even hear it all and when they weren't in well we just played cards. Sometimes I'd order food and share it with her in the dining room and we were friends and played cards pretty often. But then as my leg pain would come back I would be in my room more and I wouldn't see her. And she'd come and see what the world was I doing in my room. And sometimes she would come to find out how she could get some more cards. When I first met her her cards were disappearing like crazy. And of course we would get them from the activities director here and pretty soon they said they couldn't give her any more cards. Well then I stopped at the store and I asked my friends and family to send cards and they did sometimes they were kind of cool cards to and then last Christmas my son went to Costco and bought a huge package of playing cards. He said don't give them to her all at once. And I gave her probably a pack of month they weren't disappearing so often and at least she knew that she could come down and asked me how to find some cards and I always had some. And if you could see the look on her face of relief Shear relief as if her very existence relied upon being able to play cards and I think it did. Well this past year I had to spend quite a bit of time in my room and they said well why didn't you just go out in a wheelchair not understanding that vestibular problems that come about as a result of an infection are related to stroke. Let me explain that a little bit more clear every time I had an infection in my body and at this time it was my leg from a lymphedema problem I would have all of my stroke deficits bombard me. Sometimes I would have such shaky hands and no coordination and other times I could barely be able to sit up straight I would just always keep going over to the side it seems like whatever my stroke deficit problems were or enhanced greatly. And nobody wants to leave the room like that. And I had a lot of pain. A leg infection in a leg that already has CPS is not anything anyone should have to live through. But I made it through and I think that I've grown accustomed now to have my legs wrapped but I didn't see your 4 month really it seem like when I was out there she wasn't it just worked out that way. And then when I did see her she says to me you've been away a long time where did you go. And when I explained to her where I was she nodded we exchange the I miss yous. I often wondered why she had never come down to my room but maybe it was harder for her to get around now to. But anyway we were back playing Solitaire again. But this time we were able to go outside and play by the fountain like we did before because she had had a number of fall because she would lean over to reach a card and so they didn't really want her out of their sight. She was also having to use oxygen and there wasn't an oxygen thing on her wheelchair so they would just set it next to her. She wasn't eating in the dining room anymore she was eating in the main common room by the nurse's station. Sometimes I stayed down there with her but when I discovered that they had put her on a pureed diet I couldn't in good conscience eat in front of her. I saw her face that she tasted the food and she just looked disgusted and said Bland. She only ate about 50% before and now she ate even less than that. She was somebody that had watched her weight closely because after all she was an Olympic silver medalist in Diving. She was also in the Canadian Air Force during World War II and taught women exercises during that time. She also spent a lifetime teaching exercises two women everywhere. She was truly inspirational. And here she was always in all the activities and you would just see her playing cards she loved to play cards. I was very lucky and I'm thankful that I met her and got to spend time with her.
The other thing I'm very grateful for is that my daughter and I have reconnected and I've enjoyed seeing pictures of my grandson who has undergone surgeries to repair congenital problems and he's healthy and thriving. My daughter and I seriously can't remember why did we have problems that's what we said to each other and we laughed. In the long run all those things are so meaningless. The bigger loss outweighs those Petty things. I know she miss me and I know if I had never stopped reaching out she would have thought that I didn't love her anymore so I never did stop and one day she just saw it me on social media looking for her and she decided to contact me again. When you're a mother you forgive everything. You just love. But unconditional means. So I'm so lucky I'm so very very lucky they have both of my children now. Now I just pray that they would be able to work out their differences and heal . It all goes back and was about stroke stuff. It really threw everything off in our lives. But enough is enough and they just want to heal and be content. We're not guaranteed forever and we don't have time to lose. So I'm just very grateful for all of these things. I'm grateful that my lymphedema is controlled now and I'm actually wearing a pair of shoes again today Hallelujah! Anyway when I really think about it I could go on listing things to be grateful for that's not the problem the problem is truly remembering those things when I feel down or aggravated. So I'm glad that at least one month out of the year we take time to be thankful and from the thankfulness to be joyful. And this is a fun time of year to eat LOL I hope everybody here has a very wonderful Thanksgiving I know I'm grateful for this site and for all of you have been so supportive all these years and also forgiving that I am not always the listener that you are to me. Happy Thanksgiving!