Bad Boys, Bad Boys, Watcha Gonna Do
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so i'm going to hawaii. my plane leaves at 7am tomorrow. what am i doing instead of packing? i'm blogging.
this blogging is getting addictive. i'm probably taking my computer along, not to work, but to go on the internet, visit with you guys, and blog. i won't tell John this is one of the main reasons that i'm considering it. he would be hurt, like i can't be on vacation just with him. hell, we're going to an international NA convention. he can hang out with other NA people. it won't be like the international AA convention, where i knew more people than he did, and there was a lot of Al-Anon meetings. NA doesn't seem to take kindly to the rehabilitation of family and friends of addicts; their sister program is very weak. besides, i like staying in touch with my friends when i go away. i have been to so many places and traveled so much and i would like to share it all with my 100 best friends. so, i'll take my cellphone AND my computer. i think that my Verizon national local plan reaches to Hawaii, at least i HOPE it does...besides, although i have somebody covering my practice, my cellphone is my emergency number, so my patients can haunt me at any time.
so my cat Marmaduke is climbing in one of my work file cabinets...he is crawling on a ledge...OH NO! he knocked over a box of old file folders...he is such a BAD BOY...i told him no, but he didn't listen, he just chirped at me...and what do i do? i pick him up and hug and kiss him and he purrs and cuddles with me. which brings me to my next topic...
what makes bad boys so attractive?
ted bundy, the menendez brothers, and richard ramirez (the 'Night Stalker') all got married after they were convicted. recently, a nurse busted out her convict husband from state prison, killing a corrections officer and wounding another one in the process. i live with a cat that is a brat (i have three other ones, but i love him the best) and a husband with tattoos of skulls all over his arms and chest, a 30 year run as an alcoholic/addict, and a pierced eyebrow and chin. there has to be a message in this.
for me, i am attracted to things that are unconventional and fun, but not dangerous and self-destructive (i used to be attracted to things that are/were dangerous and self destructive, but that's another blog. my boring, unattractive, 'nice Jewish lawyer' ex-husband was one of them) Marmaduke does not claw the furniture in a major way, always uses the litterbox, does not pee in my shoes, meticulously grooms himself, is kind and friendly to 2/3 other cats and tolerates the third, accepted my husband after an initial chilly period, likes my friends, and follows me around like a 12 pound dog with whiskers. John, when he's properly medicated, is a sweet, ditsy man who is 8 years sober, goes to NA, AA, and therapy, takes his medication (finally), and likes sex, doing laundry, cooking, and housecleaning. He's not good with bills, paperwork, driving, remembering, or scheduling, but a man who cooks, cleans, and does laundry IS valuable. neither of them are REALLY that bad.
i don't like things that are boring or monotonous. i hate the same-old same-old.
i cringe when i'm forced into a regular routine 24/7. conventional does not sit well with me.
of course, this manifesto is only for me. i try not to judge what other people do, and i work on not judging people, places, or things every day. i fail miserably when it comes to the current national administration, but that's another blog. 
George W, i'll put you on my Ninth Step. 
19. i just LOVE bad boys who are not/no longer dangerous.
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