Sue,

That "re-invest our time" sure is a good way to explain what happens after a major life change and why some friends fall by the wayside. Thanks for blogging it.

Jean

Sue

i have seen my mom 're-invest' her life with taking care of my dad, turning away from a lot of her former interests and friends. a lot of her friends were 'couple' friends or friends near their second home in Florida, which they no longer go to. however, she still held on to her temple commitments (she is co-president of her temple) and some of her friends, although most of her socialization is done over the telephone.

from my experience with the stroke community since i stroked 8 years ago, some people define themselves in terms of their/their loved one's stroke and slowly turn away from people who do not show the same concerns and are not family. i think this is a common human occurance not related to having a stroke, because i see John define himself as an addict in recovery and has difficulty relating to people who do not share his experience (including me), and i see some of my patients define themselves in terms of their depression or other mental illness. i always refused to define myself in terms of my stroke (or any one aspect of my life, for that matter), so this particular issue has not been as much of a problem for me as other stroke-related issues are.

sandy

Sandy, funny you should mention your Mum and using the phone to keep friends. I was talking to a slight acquaintance today whose husband has had quite a severe stroke. She says they never go to Sydney any more and that is where the majority of her friends are. Instead she has scheduled them to ring her and chat on designated nights of the week. One woman at either end, each with a glass of wine, two hours later, two tired but contented women.

I can't see that working for me but it might for some people.

Sue.