I'm alone today and nervous - My parents are on the way to Orlando, my husband is headed for Vegas, my sister is in Rice Lake near Minnesota, my closest friend is visiting family in Detroit, even my daughter is over an hour away from me, at her apartment in Sun Prairie. I know it's totally irrational to be nervous. I'm 42 years old - it's not like I've never been alone before! But, who would I call if something happened? I feel every little ache or pain more intensely today because I'm almost frightened of what I use to consider my freedom. My independance is more of a curse than a gift today. I have the board and the chat room if I get lonely and that's a comfort of sorts. There's no one here but Ryan, and God knows I can't tell my 14 year old kid that his Mom is afraid. Afraid of being alone, afraid of having another stroke, afraid to even clean the damn bathroom because I might fall or hurt myself. It's crazy, no - I'm crazy to be this pathetic and needy. I told everyone I'd be fine on my own. Now it's just a matter of convincing myself.