Hey, Sue, you can say any damn thing you want but the word filter changes things to suit itself. Don't blame me, I didn't program the frigging word filter.

Seriously, if it were me, I would NOT let a social worker look at Ray's cognitive test results. If they are low enough, it could be illegal for you to leave him alone---even for an hour while you run to the store. (It is here in many of our states.) That young social worker could use that info against you.

Jean

Jean, you're so suspicious.

Sue, next time say to the social worker, "what day works best for YOU to come watch Ray?" Her mouth would drop open and she'd blush.

Or even, "I need to run an errand right now, I'll be back in 6 hours."

Janice,

I'm not suspicious you are being naive. I dealt with having to have my dad tested for cognitive abilities every 3 months for nearly five years and I was fully aware that if he "flunked" he could not legally remain at home alone for even an hour or my brother and I could have gotten into legal trouble. There are laws that protect the elderly and disabled from negect or abuse and a caregiver/spouse/adult child can get caught up into a legal situation where you are forced to put someone in a nursing home, even if that means selling your very soul to pay for it. Social Services is the agency that investigates those situations.

In my case, it was my idea to get dad tested quarterly, and to help with threapies, as a way to cover my legal butt since I was the one pushing to keep him at home when my brother preferred to take the 'easy' way out. Dad's gertiatric phsychiatrist was a wonderful help but he was working for us, trying to keep dad holding on to reality....not working for the state, trying to get him declared incompetent. A big difference.

Jean

i agree with Jean. when my mom was severely depressed and acting out all over the place after my dad's stroke, i knew that if a social worker really investigated the home situation social services would have gone to court, declared both my parents incompetent, and placed my dad in a nursing home. there was one social worker who was very suspicious of my mom (that was in the first hospital that my dad was admitted to) because my dad was virutally comatose and my mom was acting really insane and paranoid; fortunately, he transferred hospitals. it was only when my dad's cognitive functioning returned to normal (although he is still aphasic) and my mom went on antidepressants that things settled down. sue, DO NOT show that nosy social worker Ray's test results.

sue, i think that this social worker might have a bug up her a** that is telling her that Ray should be placed and is trying to get whatever information that she can from you to achieve that nefarious goal. you will have to deal with her with stealth and cunning, and scream invectives at her after she leaves. i would suggest that you get one of your children to babysit Ray while you get a complete medical checkup. then, when she returns, you can sweetly tell her that all of your medical issues have been taken care of because you have a wonderful support system.

if that stroke support group meets infrequently (say, once a month), i would go there with Ray for a few months and then tell her that you 'really didn't relate to the people there', or similar nonsense.

you are smarter than she is, and you have all of us to help you deal with her.

sandy