Sue,

It's a fine line we walk and it's really easy to step over it. I know and have experienced exactly what you're talking about. Every aspect of our lives is affected by whether or not our guys improve and it's hard to see those therapies sessions disappear. But I think they get tired of them, too, and don't understand that once they're out of the therapy system it's almost impossible to get back in. Even though I don't mind taking Don with me, I also miss going places on my own too.

Jean

as both a survivor and a caregiver, i know that depressiona and apathy can affect one's recovery after a stroke or TBI, and that even if that depression/apathy is patrially biologically mediated, it needs to be dealt with if one is going to recover to best that one can. when i stroked, i pushed myself no matter how tired, depressed, or apathetic i felt, and i believe that my self-pushiness was and is a major factor in my recovery.

shortly after the accident, when John was settling into an apathetic mind frame of, 'i can never go back to work, i am going on disability', which was reinforced by his then neurologist, i told him, 'i have seen a lot of people go on social security after an accident, and it's not a pretty picture. you are not doing that. you are going back to work.' he is now back to work for six months. i'm not saying that every survivor can go back to work; i'm just saying that John could, but was so apathetic that he was willing to accept the doc's misguided recommendations.

my dad, who is paralyzed, is currently very angry and depressed and doesn't want to do his exercises so he can speak more clearly and swallow better. i tell him that if he continues to be depressed, i will call his doctor and get him back on antidepressants. that typically gets him to do his exercises,at least for a few days.

therefore, i'm all for being pushy. i just wish that i could be helpfully pushy without being condenscending and/or obnoxioius all of the time instead of just some of the time.

sandy