I'm resigning from this job
Entry posted by Guest
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Not a good day today. The physiotherapist came and gave Ray a tape with some exercises, sat him down and did some of them with him and then did an assessment - and that's it! She's not coming back!
Why?? Because Ray's answered every question: "Yes", "Fine", "Can do." etc. According to him he can do all the exercises and doesn't need the help. I didn't actually hear all the answers as I had Tori and kept her busy so I only heard the tail end when she told me Ray was doing just fine and if he did the exercises on the tape every day would not need any more help.
AS IF!!! Part of Ray's trouble is denial, he hardly ever, according to him, has incontinence, has a fall, has need of help (well probably not because I do everything for him), in fact one would wonder to listen to him why he doesn't just pack up and go back to work. But the reality is so different. He is slow, has no use of his left hand,drags his left leg, cannot walk without the stick, needs a wheelchair for distances is often unbalanced in his walking. He has trouble with incontinence at regular intervals, has difficulty with small tasks and answers "I don't know" to most questions. But the physiotherapist said he is just fine!!
I blew my stack with all the discretion I could manage with a four year old on the premises. I've waited for twelve weeks for a physio and that is all we got!!
What can I do in the face of Ray's denials? I said that we got the physio in to improve his balance and now he will have to work on that himself. I can only do so much, I'll take him through the exercises on the tape but as for the quality of what we do, I just can't be the judge of that. And Ray usually doesn't stick to exercising for long. And unless he gets back to at least his pre-May fitness I can't risk taking on another holiday. He is just not safe to travel with just one person to look after him. At least here I can call on Trevor or a neighbour to help me if he falls down. And it is fortunate that so far none of the falls have resulted in broken bones.
SO I have said we will start to look at local respite facilities (mostly annexed to nursing homes, without rehab) so I can have a break a week at a time, maybe a week every three months. It will cost us but I will use that time to recoup my energy. Six years and two months with only three days break twice a year, it has been a struggle and I am not sure how much longer I will be able to do it. Just now I feel like handing in my resignation.
As the saying goes: Denial is not a river in Egypt.
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