Do you have my Christmas spirit, and if so, can I have some back? I keep trying to get in the mood, but it's not working.

Absolutly every aspect of it seems like a hassle: putting up the tree (okay, it's more about taking it down), buying presents for people when I have no idea WHO I am buying for let alone what they want, finding the time to buy the unknown gifts, driving the 3.5 hours to SIL's to "celebrate", taking the dog to the kennel, wrapping gifts, work...it just goes on and on.

I don't want you to think I am unaware of all the great things I have in my life, because I am completely aware. I am happy I still have my husband beside me. I still have our two boys, and a loving family. I can still laugh at myself (although I think I still prefer to laugh at others ). But somehow, with all the good things I could be joyous over, I just feel hollow inside. Not jaded or bitter, just no happiness or excitement towards Christmas.

I have bought a total of 4 presents, 2 each for the boys. That's it. They are not wrapped yet and there is nothing under our tree. The boy's gifts are pricy but small, so even if they were wrapped it would still look pathetic under there. I have been out shopping a couple of times (didn't have much time, but I still made the effort) and left empty handed both times. Nothing seemed right.

HELP! WHERE IS MY SPIRIT, I WANT IT BACK! I want to be excited to buy gifts for the people I love, to look forward to their faces when they see what I so thoughfully picked out. I want to bake cookies and drink hot chocolate with whipped cream and a fancy rolled cookie sticking out of it. I want to feel thankful for the birth of Jesus. I want to enjoy the spirit of giving and helping others. I want to find and drive through a neighborhood whose mission each year is to have their house more lit up and amazing than the Jones's.

I know what my spirit yearns to do, it's the things I have always tried to do each year. I wish it didn't feel like it would take a miracle to make them happen.

Kristen