Our daughter has been urging us to come for a visit, so I rang tonight to say that we could maybe come next Tuesday for three days but wouldn't be able to bring the wheelchair as there wouldn't be room in our friends car for luggage and the chair. She was less than enthusiastic. She pointed out how busy they are, the kids are on school holidays but have plans for the week and...

I backed down as I usually do. I think they had seen us a bit over Christmas and that is probably enough for now. But I was a little disappointed. Her in-laws were down for a week before Christmas and we were last there last January. But her father-in-law is fit and can go off and do the shopping, her mother-in-law is not as fit but probably prepared the evening meals. I guess we are a lot more trouble to have for a visit.

Our older son was sympathetic when I spoke to him about it but he knows we won't visit there for more than a few hours. He, his wife and daughter come to us instead, and we had Tori today. So he makes the sympathetic noises.

Our son who lives with us said: "I don't know why you bother mum. You know it is too much trouble." and more of the same. I know what he says is true. We are too much trouble now. We can't be the parents and grandparents we would have been if Ray had not had the strokes. But then we probably would have been too busy with the round-the-world-trip and visits to the stockbroker.

I love all my kids, I saw them all through higher education and we gave them as good a start in life as we could. It's not that I'm asking for much help. I just wanted a few days of rest in a place where the phone won't ring for me, I don't have to shop or do the major repairs if it rains. I would have looked after Ray and maybe had a bit of a reading holiday. You know how that is. I don't know why I'm bothered really.

What I will probably do now is book that five day bus trip I have been thinking about. That will be much more expensive so I shall do it and think about the cost later.

I think I'll find the sign a friend of mine had on the back of one of her cars: "Too busy to mind grandchildren, out spending our kids' inheritance."