We went to see the physio today taking the ultrasound results with us. It was as the physio thought. Ray's left shoulder shows muscle tears and now atrophying muscles. All he could advise was a couple of exercises that he can do laying down of a morning that will hopefully allow him to keep the muscle that he has got and stop further deterioration. He also said he had taken the leg exercises as far as they could go. The fact is that Ray is back where he started from every time we go back so although he says he has done the exercises at home and sometimes he has a couple of times in the fortnight, he really hasn't done then consistently enough to make any difference.

I know a lot of people can relate to this, as a caregiver and as a stroke survivor, if the motivation centre is gone the survivor is not going to do the exercises, go on the right diet, try new things etc. It take an uncommon amount of determination to get well and although I motivate Ray as much as I can by offering to do the exercises with him unless he wants to we don't do them.

The physios advice was to hire a rollator for a month, take it to the shopping centre or a similar flat area ad get Ray to walk with it until he gets tired and then pick him up in the wheelchair. This might build his legs up a bit more. He said nothing is going to get him back to where he was even when he had the last stroke in May. And if he continues to walk with one foot turned in he will continue to have the falls and maybe even damage the left hip again.

I know it is just what we had expected in the way of news really but each time someone mentions physio or exercise or special vitamins to stimulate the brain my little mind accepts that as a glimmer of hope and off we go, anything is worth a try.

Some people strive and get so much back, maybe not 100% but a lot and some even go back to work. I don't want a miracle for Ray (well maybe I do) I just don't want any more deterioration. If he is healthy and stable and can do some walking we can go on another one of our little holidays.