I have been looking back through old discs to find some early letters on family subjects to add to my family tree. Now I am not a logical person in a lot of ways so my discs are not purpose file discs, they are old back-up discs so they contain a whole lot of photos, emails and letters. It has kept me amused for nights re-reading old letters.

It seems to me that when we first contact someone we are really enthusiastic. We want to give them all our details, share happy incidents, boast about our family ( well some of them) and generally do an exchange of information. With the big issues out of the way, within a few months it is back to the day-to-day stuff: Ray and I went to the beach today, the kids came over, we BBQed etc.

In some instances this satisfied and some of the correspondents from the 2003 discs are still corresponding today. In other cases after a few weeks or months the contact petered out and lapsed. If they were snail mail correspondents they would just have gone on the Christmas card list.

Looking back over my six months on Strokenet I have already seen that as a pattern. People come here with a desperate need, they bombard the boards with their information and well-wishers hustle onto the topic and give what is possibly enough information on the topic for the person to feel that they have been heard. Now there are less posts, dwindling away until there are none. The person's need has been met, their life moves on.

For others they become a part of the welcoming committee. I think I have done that. Because I am up when a lot of other regulars are asleep I tend to answer if I see a newbie even if I haven't any information to help them. I just post something after checking to see that they are online waiting for "someone" to answer. In the case of heavy problems I don't know how useful this is but at least they have got an answer from cyberspace. Someone is out there with a clue of what they are talking about. I know I was relieved myself when I got those first few answers.

We all have a purpose in life. My life has been touched by a lot of people I wouldn't have had a chance to be acquainted with any other way. I have pleasant people to chat with who come from all over America and places I have never heard of before and am unlikely to ever visit. I am preparing myself now to lose them one by one. As their needs are met, as life moves on and they come to terms with their problems and situation, they will move on. One day I will move on too. But at least for a while we can reach out into cyberspace and touch the hand of a person who like me is sitting in isolation jotting down thoughts via my computer.

Like my distant cousins all over the globe the people of Strokenet have become a different kind of family.

When I had problems early in my marriage a wise person, not a professional counsellor but one used to helping people with their troubles told me not to look for all virtues in one person. Strokenet, with its many contributors allows us the choose the advice that suits us, that fits in with our way of life, or what it is possible to integrate into our present life patterns. No one person's advice is going to do that. We need to collect a piece here and piece there until we feel comfortable with the mix. Of course, as with seashells we will sometimes throw away the best pieces and regret that afterwards.

So, will old acquaintance be forgot and never brought to mind? Or will you one day in the future come back to Strokenet and look back on the posts of your present friends here and say:" Dear old ---, I wonder how he/she is doing now?"