"Congratulations Mrs *W* you are our grand prize winner for today. You just won yourself a trip to the Bahamas" so said some enthusiastic American voice at the end of my phone line. She was less than enthusiastic when I told her I had an invalid husband, no money to fly anywhere right now, and no time to listen to her spiel. Well lucky me, on a Carers Pension, with a husband who's had five strokes, living on the East Coast of Australia and they are giving me a holiday in the Bahamas!!!! Just what I always wanted!Wake up from this, this is a nightmare.

Don't know if you can picture me throwing down the phone and running but it happened. I felt as if the Devil was chasing me. It is not a good day today, I have a car to unload and it keeps raining, I have laundry to do, and it is raining. I have to go to the shops and pay some bills and it is raining. Did I mention - it's raining? It isn't even heavy downpour, fill your tanks up rain, green up your grass kind of rain. It is just silly gusts of rain, the sort that makes you wet in a short time out in it. So shopping is delayed until tomorrow, laundry can go out then, I have maybe two more loads to do.

I am still coming to terms with the closing of our church and the end of that era. Ray still went off to Bible study on Tuesday, he can't do that forever but for now it is a comfort to him to still go on with some of the familiar routines of his old church life. This coming Sunday we will go and try the "new" church. I hope the folk are friendly there and there are at least a couple who comes over and say "Hello" and introduce themselves. It will be some comfort. But it is not going to be "life as we know it". I am trying not to dwell on that thought right now.

Congratulations Mrs *W* you have been selected to go through life with a lot of little niggling problems that won't kill you but will take a lot of the shine off of life. Quit wasting your time expecting to be happy, the glamourous holidays-in-the Bahamas life is not for the likes of you. And you can also get over the feeling that life is out to get you some days. It is not about you, you have very small problems compared to a lot of others on the planet.

My phone still rings with the church folk, I guess they want to reach out one more time for reassurance. It is sometimes hard being an Earth mother type as people look to you for comfort. Sometimes I can give and give, sometimes I can't. I've said a couple of times today: "I don't have angel wings." You know those big white feathery ones that remind you of Pegasus the flying horse. I think some people do think I have them. They ring me with their troubles and out comes my magic wand. But today the batteries are low and there is no glow at the end of the stick.

Congratulations Mrs *W*, you just got yourself a dream holiday. Pity you can't take it. Oh well I guess we will just ring someone else.