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changes


swilkinson

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Just talking to Kristen (givincare) who is in a hotel room preparing to move tomorrow. She had thoughts that her son would not move with them some time back. I know what that feels like as I was seven when we moved from England to Australia. We were called "ten Pound Poms" as the Australian government subsidised the trip to encourage migrants and each adult paid just ten British Pounds.

 

We came to Australia on a ship called the "New Australia". She had first been commissioned in 1923 and was phased out the year after we came here. The accommodation was minimal, six in a cabin intended for four, men separated from their families, women and children thrown in together for the journey. It took s five weeks from England to Australia and we were really glad to get here having weathered storms, a strike by the ship's crew and a change of destination due to strikes in the area we were supposed to go to.

 

When we finally landed we were told how "lucky" we were. And I suppose in some ways we were. Australia was somewhere where you could pay off a block of land (50 foot frontage, 150 feet long) and build your own house as an owner/builder. You could still keep "chooks" in the back yard and some people also kept a cow or a goat or other poultry. There was plenty of work though mostly labouring jobs and you could get "credit" or "tick"and pay off your furniture as you earned more.

 

In the late fifties new subdivisions were springing up everywhere, forming new suburbs and work places moved out of Sydney as we did. People were making a new life here. Communities sprung up all around us as the post-war migrants settled down to build homes and have families. I got use to all kinds of food as I made friends with the new neighbourhood kids whose parents came from many countries, many different backgrounds. I think that is what makes it so easy now for me to slide into conversations with strangers, we were brought up as strangers in our new adopted land.

 

I went to several schools, had two homes and then my parents made another move, to the Central Coast, three suburbs over from where we live now. More new experiences, more new friends, different takes on life as I first went to the local school and then on to the town high school. Central Coast folk were a little more rural, a little less citified, a little less cosmopolitan. But with the beaches and the lovely summers and the ease of shopping in town or going on to the city two hours away by train it was an acceptable way of life.

 

Skip a few decades and you can see why we like a solid, unchanging existence. After Ray and I were married we had more changes. Ray changed professions, we changed houses and districts as he moved with his job but eventually we landed back where we came from, back on the Central Coast. We have put down deep roots where we are having been back in this house for 23 years.

 

But changes are again on the horizon, I have started to realise that the upkeep of house and yard is harder than it used to be. Particularly when storms break up the driveway and flood the back area and I am out digging drains in the middle of the night. Hey! I am not the young gal I used to be and maybe this is all getting too much for me now? And maybe our need to move is being guided also by Ray's needs as he gets less flexible, walks less distance and then only reluctantly sometimes.

 

Life changes. We move on. Like Kristen's son maybe reluctantly. But in the end there is no reasonable point in avoiding change. It probably will be for the best. But I have to get ready for it a long time in advance. I knew that one day I would marry and leave home, I knew that my husband would dictate that to a certain extent and in a way the stroke and his worsening condition will dictate our next move.

 

I just hope that when the time comes I will be ready. And like the move to Australia it will be a good move and lead us into new opportunities.

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Sue:

 

nice blog, I can picture your whole journey from england to australia. I do believe in life there are always going to be some changes whether u like it or not, I moved to complete new country new culture US from India where I grew up so differently, but I adjusted pretty well to new country, now I call US my home since my kido&hubby r here, that's where is my home, now if hubby decides to move to saudi I guess I will follow him there 2, and make my home there 2, life is full of adjustments, you have to adjust to whatever is thrown in ur plate, it could be ur hubby, new country or 100 other things. maybe downsizing will bring less pressure

 

when v moved from our old house to new house, kido for longest time wasn't ready to accept this as our new home, everytime he would cry and say I want to go home, but after year making new friends, now when I ask him want to go back? he says no, this new house is his home

 

Asha

 

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Sue,

I know you miss your old life. But look at this move more as an adventure, a new chapter and embrace this change from the beginning. Besides you are in control of the change, the choice isn't being taken from you. Do it while you can and you have the choice and the control. Even though it is hard, it will be for the best.

Pam

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Sue, what a wonderful Blog, I've said before, you and Jean have a way with words to express your feelings in ways others can relate.

 

Migrants and farm workers have been a big part of history for most countries. My parents were farmers/share croppers moving from place to place in Texas. By the time I came along in 1941, as their 19th child, they were just outside Houston.

 

I can only imagine how it was with generations just before them and the slave ships before that time frame. My mom was 43 when I was born and 15 with her first child. She told me many stories about their struggles to work, eat, raise kids and live.

 

Your Blog touches me greatly. Thanks for sharing! :scooter:

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Sue,

I am glad I got a chance to read this before you posted something new and I missed it.

 

I am also glad you took the time to tell more about your "migration"- I can see you as a little girl on that ship, all dressed in your winter clothes. It would be an excellent couple of chapters in your book. (I'll be patiently waiting)

 

I am looking forward to our changes, there is so much hope for what our move will bring to our lives. I hope for Patrick to have more adult companionship while I am at work; I hope for Brandon to take advantage of his fresh start; I hope I am able to get back to being a person that I like to be (I need my "spirit" back).

 

Most of the changes in the past year or so have not been within our control. They were given to us. I have done my best to face them head on and never look back. But sometimes when you don't look back, you don't see how far you've come. Now is the time to STOP, LOOK AROUND, and take some time to re-engergize. I just have to unpack first.

 

I feel like this is a fresh start for us all.

 

Take Care Sue, and thanks for listening.

Kristen

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Pam, I guess a lot of my angst comes from my fear that I will make a move, then something will happen to Ray and I will be stuck with a house chosen especially for his particular disabilities. I need to really think this through before making a move.

 

We have been happy in this house and Ray says the front verandah was "the best thing" he ever built so he is happy here too.

 

I guess I am slow to change but that gives me good foundation for the changes I do make as I have thoroughly assessed the situation first.

 

Kristen, thanks for dropping by chat today, glad to know you will be "home" by lunchtime tomorrow. I am sure with your character that you will make the most of the new opportunities that come your way.

 

Fred and Asha, thanks for mentioning that journeying to new lands is a part of other people's family history too.

 

Sue.

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Sue,

 

Houses the are handicap accessible don't have to be 'ugly' or look handicap accessible by any stretch of the imagination. If they are done right the only thing that gives them away are a few extra grab bars in the bathroom. What you'd get for Ray's disability would also fit any health situation you yourself might face in the future. Even before Don's stroke we were talking of building a Universal Design house so that we'd be ready for whatever life threw at us in retirement.

 

Jean

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