For all of you in the northern hemisphere think of this as March, wet, drizzly, high winds, grey skies, people battling across car parks with the rain on their glasses, wet hair dripping down the back of their necks. Okay, that is picture of our day. Blahhhhh!

I got up slow today. There are days when I don't want to get out of bed and face the day. Then a friend rang and requested help. Her smoke alarm was going off. I held onto the phone while she turned every electrical appliance off. It still went on ringing. So I went down and helped her set up another one. That didn't ring so the fault was in the alarm itself. Her brother-in-law will come and attach the new one which wouldn't fit in the same spot (of course).

We seem to have had a series of bad news emails over the last few days. I open up my inbox hoping not to find anyone else's dear aunt, cousin or nearest and dearest has departed since they last contacted me. Okay, a lot of our friends have elderly parents and this is the time of the year when illness and death seem to be the rule rather than the exception. But even if you are expecting there to be bad news it doesn't make you feel any less sad when it comes. So that adds to the feeling that life is very blah at the moment.

I replied recently to a post about friends who leave you after strokes and find someone else to be friends with. Seven years on we still find people who were once enthusiastic supporters but after so long have given up on us and don't return our calls or contact much any more. That doesn't mean they were never our friends, but we can probably count them now as friends from the past. Not part of our present group. And that is sad. Some of them I really liked.

I know my troubles are mild compared to a lot of peoples. It is like complaining about a toothache when the person next to you is facing their leg being amputated. There may be bigger issues but each person has to learn to deal with their own issues and there are no "my problem is bigger than your problem" issues here. Just the daily grind of facing each day bravely and with a willingness to deal with each challenge as it arises.

Yesterday Ray had incontinence of both kinds. It was a fair old clean-up job and by the end of it I was ready to run away from home. I know it is not his fault, I try to smile and say :"No problem, pet." But some days the smile is more of a gag reflex. I know one day I will look back on this part of my life as "the good old days" but right now I am living through the moments and they are grey not gold.

So I have in mind that we need to go to twin beds now so Ray's problems can be addressed in a different way. I have resisted doing this on the grounds that this sharing a bed is symbolic to him of our being married. It is also our original marriage bed. Those of you who live with those values dear to the heart of the English and Europeans will probably understand that. It is a big deal to Ray.

So will the sun come out again? Of course it will. Next week we will go furniture shopping, find suitable beds and something nice in the way of sheets and quilts and pillows. Maybe go for Bonnie's Country look. And as usual count our blessings. Ray is still here, we are still together, Spring will come again.