I woke up early because the parrots were having breakfast in the tree near our bedroom window. It is nearing Spring and the blossom is fully out on the eucalypt trees and the little rosellas particularly just love the sweet nectar. From our camping experiences I know that after an hour or so they calm down but once I am awake I might as well have breakfast myself.

The Change One diet went the way of all other diets. All I have kept up is the breakfast, a piece of toast and a piece of fruit for breakfast. And I will try to continue to take a 20 minute walk every day. I guess the name was right, I did change one thing. I've got the book so I can go on from there some other time. Maybe when summer is here I can convert lunch to a nice crisp salad and that will be step two. I did try adapting to the menu that was suggested but lettuce still tastes rank so no help there until the longer days come and vegetables grow faster and tastier.

We had a visit from my nephew over the weekend, the one the boys pal around with. He had a refereeing job this weekend for "Paintball" and so had an evening off and came for a visit He referees when there are larger groups than the owner can handle or when one of the regulars is off. He has four kids so I guess he knows a lot about refereeing! He talked about going to see Mum at her Dementia Lodge, and explained with tears in his eyes that he had slipped in to see Dad a couple of days before he died so thought he should also see his Granma. Not easy for even grown grandchildren to cope with the changes in those they love. I see Mum twice a week so I see the minute changes. No regrets there, she is still my beloved Mum.

I booked Ray two weeks in November for respite, it the same group as Mum's Dementia Lodge but in hostel care. He will have a room of his own and be able to go outside and have visitors take him out. It was not an easy decison and my mind is still saying :"cancel it, cancel it". But I won't. I remember how hard it was to put Mum in the first time, and how easy by comparison it was the second year to plan ahead and take a couple of breaks. And if anyone from Ray's family disapproves they can still go visit him there. They might find it easier than coming here to see him. The hostel is on three sides of a big courtyard. There will be birds there too as there are grevilleas planted there, the honey eaters love the ones across the street.

I also had lunch with an old friend on Friday. She wanted me to look after her house and dogs while she was away on a trip to China. If it was a week I would have as she lives in a wonderful setting on the edge of a range of hills and the views are magnificent and the air clean. It is a couple of hours drive from here. But three weeks with Ray in a strange house with no breaks? no it is past the time for that now. I need the couple of breaks a week to keep my calm. I also need to know that there is a hospital close and help at hand if I need it. I think our breaks away together will be a week at at time from now on.

And so it is on with the motley. That expression is a court term. The court jester's suit is called motley. The expression acknowledges that motley is not what the jester wears all the time. I think that is good to remember. We are not caregivers all the time. We watched a program about "Altruism" last night and how it showed in people's response to the Tsunami that devastated so much of Asia in our consciousness. There are people whose lives lead them to altruistic behaviour scientists say. So some people become carer/nurturers. One Hungarian twenty-something said he got a warm feeling when he gave out much needed water and explained at length how all deserve food no matter what kind of person they are. He shone when he stood in front of the crowd handling out bottled water and tears streamed down his cheeks when he described the plight of the people. Pity we can't bottle that feeling and hand it out to all who seem to behave so selfishly.

You will not be surprised at the conclusion one of the professionals drew. In a small group (family or village) selfish people flourished at the expense of altruistic people, but in society as a whole altruistic people lived longer. Well...maybe it just seems longer?