Heather,

Your post reminded me of a conversation I had with my sister while I was still in the rehab hospital. I am five years older than her and I suppose I was a bit over the hill compared to her friends. We were not as close as I would have liked so after my stroke I didn't force a renaissance of our sisterhood. The conversation took place at a time when I was very upset at knowing my situation and how everything would be different. I found myself crying on the phone and she tried her best to comfort me. This leap of faith actually broke down a wall that had existed since we were teens. I felt like the younger sister needing support from the older sister.

I think that this role exchange has lessened the competitive attitude that grew out of our age difference.

If your sister was a little frightened you might open a dialogue about that with her sometime soon. She needs to know that this is a normal part of stroke recovery and that if you ever feel depressed or sad for long stretches which interveres with your daily activities, you will consult your doctor and have yourself evaluated for post stroke depression. A stiff upper lip does nothing to help this affliction and my life improved 100 % after I got treated. That black cloud no longer sucks my vitality and I can choose to live happily.

best,

Pat

Heather:

it is okay to cry. I just had my pity party at my mom's house not too long ago, but at the same time you have to look at the blessings which you still have in your life, and also remembering there are lot of people far worse off than you, what helped me during my down days realising everyone has some problems in their life, and maybe this is mine, but I m surrounded by such a wonderful people to carry out my share of agony.

I m sorry not able to give any wise advice, just telling what worked for me, oh yes and antidepression pills also worked, and now I m in the process of weaning myself off them

asha

Heather -- It's a long road.

Big Hug!

-Karen

Hi Heather. I think I have come to acceptance... but then there are days I miss the "things before stroke" get frustrated at the way my mind and body work now. I think this is normal.. we try not to compare, and to realize our brains have had an injury.... I know, this, I accept this, I am Happy to be alive and be with my family, but there are times ... I don't "like it"..

I am on an anti depressant. I do much better on it... I don't think it may be so much a "clinical depression" as sometimes the injury messes up theway we make and can use the seronotin and chemicals, conductors in our brain.. some of the pathways are damaged and need a little help with medication.

I think it was good you opened a door with your sister.. maybe you can explain how sometimes our emotions are sometimes a bit closer to the surface now, and come bursting out.

Take care... stroke is not something anyone wants, and unless you have been apart of it as a survivor, caregiver or family member something not very well understood.