I took Ray to see the dietician this morning. Our appointment was rebooked from 12.30pm to 9am so I asked Bonnie to look after the start of Tuesday night Caregiver Chat for me, and that was just as well as the dietician was 20 minutes late starting the appointment. After an hour she concluded there is not a lot she can help us with. I think our diet is pretty spot on apart from Ray having secret caches of sugary food somewhere or overindulging at craft afternoon teas. I was brought up to English cooking, meat and three veg, and have added stir fries, pasta and a few other dishes to my repertoire and I think we eat a well balanced diet. We mostly eat the 2 fruit, 5 veg that seems to be the symbol of good eating now.

While Ray was having a nap this afternoon I went down to the beach. Trev was home so able to keep an eye on Ray for me as he can sit here at the computer and do that. I walked the long way to the beach and went down onto the sand and sat for a while. That used to be a Sunday afternoon thing once for the kids and me, we would walk to the beach, they would body surf and I would pick up shells or walk to the rock platform or walk around in the shallows on the edge of the water. Ray has never been a great lover of the beach although he does like to go half a dozen times a year for picnics or just to enjoy watching the kids and now the grandkids splash around.

I am trying to plan ahead just a little now. I guess that must mean Ray's health is stabilizing so I am hopeful of some good times ahead. In the bad times I just live life day to day and don't make any plans. All I am doing now is thinking how summer might be. Maybe a few picnics and BBQs and if Ray keeps well an invitation to some of our friends to join us, that kind of thing. We have a couple of lakes close by too and a picnic lunch by a lake where there are swings for the littlies to play on is a good way to spend a Sunday afternoon in late spring and early summer. By Christmas it is getting too hot unless there is plenty of shade for young and old to keep out of the sun.

When I was a kid I was fascinated by the underwater adventures of Jacque Cousteau and the early surfing movies. I like the sea, I like the sound it makes and the feel of it on my skin on a hot day. I am aware now of issues like sun cancers and probably don't stay on the beach for as long as I used to but to be on, by or in the water is still a thrill for me. I watched the white bodies of the young teens enjoying school holidays and playing at the edge of the sea but wasn't tempted to try it myself, too cold in the water as yet. I will start to swim about mid November, then just occassionally in the late afternoon.

I laid on the beach and looked at the sky, with our dry weather the sky is an incredible blue now. There was the sound of the waves, the squeals of the young girls but nothing much else to hear, nothing to see and nothing to do. A space in my day like that is an incredible gift. There is a lot of small tasks to do here all the time and it is good sometimes to choose not to do them and to give myself a break.

I used to wonder as a child why when you lay on the sand you can't hear what is going on under the ground, like worms wiggling or those fires you see on movies like "Journey to the Centre of the Earth" burning away. I guess that is a part of what I was doing today as I lay on the beach. Listening to the sounds of nothing happening. That is a good thing to do sometimes.