I have not long got back from my WAGS Womens Weekend Away where I spent the weekend with 20 wonderful women, 21 there counting me. It was at a motel complex just down from where my son lives. I thought it would not be very glamourous but instead it was marvellous. Once inside the resort area there were green lawns and pergolas and a pool and little balconies with golden cane palms and for almost the middle of a small city it could have been deep in the country. The rooms were adequate, we were all "twinned" so many stayed up talking well into the wee small hours. The meals were very good, and we were so nicely waited on, all paid for and no tipping please, so apart from drinks from the bar no money needed on site.

The organisers had asked us all to bring a bottle and munchies so both afternoons from 5pm - 7pm we had "Happy Hour" with nibblies and drinks. I think this was when I learned a lot about the other participants as they talked freely about their lives, their families and their circumstances. Support was asked for and given but not in a superior way but rather like we do it here when we ask in our postings: "My survivor is doing this, has anyone else had any experience with this?"or "I am feeling this and this, is that normal?" More than a few tears were shed during these sessions but the two or three "clowns" in the group soon had us laughing and in a good mood again.

The company was fantastic. When I was told it was a mixture of caregivers and stroke survivors I was a bit unsure of what we would all talk about. Well mainly we talked about the problems of being women in a world that had suddenly changed. The range of deficits was wide from those who had had slight strokes ( or cared for someone who had) to one lady who brightened our life with her constant witty remarks yet needed a lot of help and arrived in a wheelchair that various volunteers pushed her round in.

The women with slight deficits told how they faced everyday the question: "Now you are back to normal why do you still go on about having had a stroke?" and "When will you be going back to work now you are back to normal?" and the answers that I have become familiar with here, because of fatigue, memory problems, I can't drive, I can't stay awake long enough etc.

The caregivers to those with medium to severe deficits expressed the nature of their lives now, the limitations, the financial strain, the lack of community support, the fear of a poverty-ridden old age. I told some of them about this site and how it had helped me through the rough patches by knowing I was not alone, by being able to come to chat and find someone else who was struggling with the same problems as I am. I also expressed the benefits I have found with blogging, that I can keep an online diary where I can put into words how I feel, and how by looking back on what I have written after the passing of time I find I learn from that. I also mentioned how supportive you all are to me here.

All the women seemed to express in some form the loss of friendships, close family ties, their career opportunities , loss of future expectations etc and how they were coming to terms with that. The tears flowed then to as some expressed for the first time in a safe setting how they really felt as opposed to what they usually said:"I'm fine thank you." We also talked about the changes in lifestyle necessitated by the strokes. Some were themselves aware of their own prejudices towards those with a more severe/less severe form of stoke to themselves and said that being together in a group such as this enabled them to see things from another's point of view.

And just in case you thought this was all gloom and doom and not much fun, you should have been there for the "mock wedding" on Friday night which was three hours of hilarity, the massages on Saturday morning, the "water ballet" on Saturday afternoon, the wine and champagne parties and the fun at mealtimes. There was also the "real wedding" we were able to see as that was booked at the same site but in another accommodation block but took place in "our" garden. Thank goodness the bride and groom, both second -time-arounders, were good natured and amused by our enthusiasm for the event and happy for us to stay and watch.

If you ever get an opportunity to go away with a group of stroke survivors and caregivers you may not have as much fun as I did this weekend, but at least give it a try. All similar learning experiences stretch us as people, enable us to see into another's life and benefit from that, and help to build friendships that given the right environment could last a lifetime.