I've read all your postings and given it a lot of thought.

She may have had her reasons for doing what she did - oh heck with it.... she had her reasons because the same abuse and inapropriate relationship from her stepfather happened to her to - so I guess when it happened to me she just figured that was the way things went. But I escaped when I was 12 by switching custody and going to live with my Dad and my Stepmom- who has been more of a mother to me than she could have ever dreame of being - not saying that my stepmom's perfect either - but then none of us are.

But, as a mother myself - I just can't imagine hurting my child bad enough to show bruises or break ping pong paddles or tennis rackets, locking you in closets while she went out to the store...lalalalala, anyway - no one really needs to hear the gory details. Abuse is abuse and she's never accepted her paart in it nor has she apologized. She is however a diagnosed bi-polar who refuses to medicate. She's alienated so many people in the family that she had to go to her second cousin's daughter to get someone to watch over her house while she;s in the hospital.

Forgive? I've been working on forgiveness for most of my adult lifeso that's still a maybe, but I won't forget.

The person that is pushing this is my brother - the onewho went to Iraq - he's made peace with it somehow and is pushing me to do it to ease his mind I think.

I think I may do what Phyllis suggested and send a note to say that I had heard she was sick and wish her well - although I don't know that I do, because if she does get better, then she will take my note as a sign that it's okay to be back in my life - which it is NOT.

Eesh - guess what I'll be talking with my counselor about this week?LOL

It'll all work out. It may sound bad, but she is such a tortured soul that I think death would be a relief for her.