I want to build upon my recent entries and go into territory that some will likely not agree with, and may not be suitable for them. A some risk of being criticized on a controversial subject, here goes. One of the comments on this blog recently was not to believe everything the medical community tells me. How true! Remember, you only see a doctor a few minutes every few months. He lives with your condition for just that few minutes. You live with it all day and night every day. He (or she) knows the technical side of it, but they don't have all the answers or you wouldn't have stroked in the first place, or at least you would be "cured" by now. Am I criticizing doctors? Absolutely not! I am just saying they don't have all the answers, especially in today's internet age.

Years ago I read about a large church that had a unique policy. To keep their job, every department head was required to have at least two failed projects a year. Two failures. How strange is that? But notice I said it was a LARGE church. It got large because it was not afraid to try new things. The policy of allowing failure gave leaders the courage to try new untried things. Did every effort succeed? Obviously not, but some did. Enough that it became one of the largest churches in in land.

Let me personalize it to us stroke victims. So far in four months I have had at least two failures. I tried to lift too much weight too soon and hurt my shoulder, setting myself back a week. I learned from that failure to go slower when I should, listen to my PT a bit more. In the long run even that failure has helped me. I now recognize the warning signs earlier and stay within my limits better. My attempt to use the Neuromove also failed. Do I regret trying? Absolutely not. It is a fine device that I am sure does work for some, and should be tried by many others. Properly fitted I am sure it will work well.

Now let's talk about some successes. My favorite topic. Saeboflex. Had I not tried it, my hand would likely still be a claw. It breaks my heart to go to the local nursing home and see people there that probably would not have a claw for a hand at the end of a curled up arm if it had only been available to them when they needed it.

Living in a small community with very limited resources could be seen as a drawback. I don't see it that way. When I was in the rehab hospital in Duluth I was not even offered the Saeboflex, yet that is where I went for my fitting and therapy for it!! Being in a large metro area is no guarantee you will be offered what may be best for you. Living where we do, I have no choice but to seek out treatments and evaluate them carefully on a cost, travel, insurance basis very carefully.

I have changed OT and Pt's along the way. They each seem to have their areas of expertise and once their limit is reached, they can do no more for you, just keep doing the exercises they give you, that's all they know to do. It's all they know. The first Ot's I went to knew nothing about Myofacia Release and Graston therapies. Had I stayed with them I would still have severe muscle tone in my left arm and shoulder. Now I don't. The Myofacia and Graston worked. They have now taken me as far as they can so I am going to Thunder Bay, Canada next week to try Active Release for a max of four initial treatments. More only if I determine that they will likely result in real, additional benefit. I set the rules, not my therapist. I then expect to try acupuncture for a max of ten treatments for pain relief I expect I'll need. I do not plan anymore traditional OT/PT at the moment. I will of course, continue the exercises they all have given me, I can tell they help. I have talked to the Active Release therapist and the acupuncture trerapist and they both understand I expect results and do not intend to become part of their retirement plan with weekly visits forever. Before I met Lesley I dated a lady for a few weeks until I found out she had been going to a shrink every week for five years. We didn't date again.

After I left rehab, I got all the usual surveys. Was the food good, etc. Were the doctors nice. Were the therapists good. Were the living conditions good. Were the nurses nice. Each survey was focused on their specific area of interest, and were not interested in answers beyond their questions. I finally told one interviewer that no one was interested in the miserable toilet paper that was unusable by a one handed person, or that the bathroom had no hooks to hang your robe on while showering. Or the fact that none of the three remotes in my room operated the TV. Dr's, OT/PT's etc, God Bless them, can be the same. They think inside the box they know best. Last week my Dr. offered me more pills to improve my range of motion. I declined. He offered what he had to offer. Bless his heart, he is very open to other therapies, and whole heartedly supports my search and efforts.

My point of all of this is settling for small gains can be a self fulfilling prophecy. If that is all the therapist can offer you, they may be at the limit of their knowledge. It doesn't have to be the limit of your efforts. Please read this entry carefully. My examples are true and factual. Your results may vary, but you won't know until you try. Thomas Edison was asked how it felt to have failed over 4,000 times to invent the light bulb. He replied "I haven't failed 4,000 times, I have just found 4,000 ways that don't work". We all know what happened soon after that. I have found two things that didn't work for me, but I have found several more that have. These things didn't come to me, I had to seek them out and go to them.

One last musing for the day. I think the divorce rate would be much lower if newlyweds were forced to move at least 100 miles from families. They would then have to learn to work it out instead of running home. My first wife joined me in Italy, 6,000 miles from her home. The first year she would have gone home if she could have, and I would have sent her if we could have afforded it. 28 year of happy, successful marriage later, she died. We had worked it out because we had to. You are the same. No one will work this out for you but you. Please read this entry very slowly and carefully. All the stories here fit together and tell a compelling story when taken in totality. Don't pick and choose which parts you like or dislike. Don't give up, failure is an option but not trying isn't!!