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i've heard blogging is good for the soul


amie_1

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OK, (big breath) now that I am here, i don't know what to write or where to start.

 

I am a caregiver for my husband who is a stroke survivor, he had a stroke Jan 14, 2007. It seems he is also suffering from Central Pain Syndrome. I can not imagine the extent of pain that he feels on a daily basis, and I feel very helpless cause there is nothing I can really do to help him with the pain. My instinct is to just hold him, but he says that just makes him hurt more!! :( My natural instinct is to care and nurture people, and it seems that is taken away from me in this case.

I met Dave in May of 1998. It seems like we feel in love instantly our age difference didn't matter at all, he is 17 years older then I am. We dated/lived together for 8 years then got maried in March 2006, like I said he then had a stroke in Jan 2007.

Lately all Dave is doing is complaining every 5 minutes of ALL aches and pains, I know that he hurts ALOT, and I feel bad for thinking /writing this but he has to stop! He still has to look at his cup as half full NOT half empty. The complaining is so constant that I find I am having a hard time sometimes showing him sympathy. I hate that feeling in me it is out of character for me. So i kekep reminding myself that he can not help how he feels, just like I can not help those inconsiderate thoughts of mine.

 

If anyone reads this I am sorry for these feelings that I have.. try not to think badly of me. I do love Dave immensely and would do anything for him, just sometimes it gets a tad tough.

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hey Amie:

 

Welcome to our wonderful world of blogging, if you blog constantly you will reap therpetic benefits of it. first and foremost don't feel guilt about the way you feel, but I remember in the begining of my stroke stage I was in very selfish stage, even I m sometimes now, my problems are bigger than everybody else was my regular tune if somebody whines to me abt their problem.

 

tell your hubby to write down gratitude journal every day, just tell him to find five blessings in his life each day and record it, that helped me greatly.

 

 

 

 

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Ann,

 

Welcome to the blog community. As Asha said, do not feel guilty. Having guilt is not healthy for either of you. Has the CPS been diagnosed by a doc as of yet- if not, be sure to bring it to the doctor's attention. If it has, then possibly your hubby could benefit from seeing a pain management specialist. Stroke has entered his life and yours, but there are definitely blessings to be counted for each day.

 

(((hugs))) to you both

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A gratitude journal sounds like a fantastic idea.... thank you. Just have to figure out a way to get him to do one though, he is still one of "those men" that think they are just to macho to cry or show certain emotions... but maybe If I start one and leave it out for him to see and read, accidently of course......

No he has not been officially diagnosed to CPS, but I am taking him to VA tomorrow to try and get him accepted there for health care. If that happens then I will be able to get him to go to a doctors without complaint of how much $$ out of pocket it costs. Please cross fingers and say prayers.

Hugs to everyone

 

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