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an unerving conclusion



After reading responses from my last entry, and a lot of soul searching I have come to the really unbelievable conclusion that I have been verbally abused by my parents for a very long time. What is worse is that it had happened quite often. One of my early memories is when I was in jr high or so. My father took me to my Uncle's farm where he was picking cotton (by machine of course), I was trying to light a cigarette on a windy day and caught the trailer on fire. I was frighted but took responsibility. My father was so mad I thought he was going to skin me alive. Fortunately my uncle was there to calm him down and reassured my dad that it would be covered by insurance.

There have been other times too. I recall one time when I was in high school. It was early Monday morning and a school night, about 2:00 am when I had an appendicitis attack. I did not know what is was at the time. I would not find out until a few years later when I had another attack. I was rushed to the hospital for an operation. When I had the attack before I was too frightened to awake my parents.

There have been other times but really too many to talk about.


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Hi Doug, I think many of us grew up with "strict" parents.. I was spanked, etc. Respect, Honesty, Morals. Then along came Dr Spock, and some of the others.. Now it is called child abuse. Now we have kids, killing, cheating, with no respect.of property, adults, each other. Where is the line .... In the 40's and 50's we had Ozzie and Harriett and Leave it to Beaver. Mom's stayed home, Dad's worked and did yard work, house Maintenance. Mom's cooked, cleaned, ironed.... We are in a New Century... It takes 2 incomes to buy and maintain a house. You keep looking at the "bad" things your parents did.. Can you make a list of the Good things? Maybe you don't have any? To keep looking back.. and poking with a "sharp stick" leaves you locked in the past and angry. You are an adult now, you have control of your life and your own personal happiness. Maybe it is time to let go of the angry, hurt child.. and have a New relationship as an adult with your family.....

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Sorry to hear that the "stuff" continues. But first hand, I can empathize with you. My father was ultra-strict...my mother didn't care but pretends she does. I have blogged a lot about my adult post stroke experiences with her. They stink; I've been given some good and healthy advice that I'm going to pass on to you. Don't talk to them if it hurts and pulls you down. Doug, we cannot change the past. What happened as kids we definitely have no control over. We can only control today and look towards tomorrow.


Surround yourself with good and supportive people.

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