Hi all

Have a Happy Christmas - or do the best you can - whichever applies.

I have been off the computer as mine crashed and now at last I might see mine rebuilt, everyone was too busy prior to Christmas. Trev said to do a blog entry so all my friends here will know what is happening to us.

We had a quiet Christmas Day today. I have been aware the past month or so that Ray is not coping with noise, crowds etc. He seems to have more vagueness about him, as if he is walking about in a fog. He can converse on a casual basis, say approximately the right thing so other people hopefully don't notice, but I do.

We have been very busy, yesterday shopping and cooking and wrapping parcels. This morning I gave him clean clothes and said we needed to get moving and he said: "What is so special about today?" He didn't know untill I told him that today was Christmas Day! I think he is not recording as many memories now. He remembers the past still but adventures rather than everyday life. People seem not to be connected to memories either. It worries me as soon I will have to retell his story - as well as I remember it.

Today was church and family day. We had some phone calls, a couple last night a couple this morning. The northern family spoke to all and sundry as Mum Shirley and Dad Craig worked on getting lunch for them all. Tori loves to talk to Naomi and Christopher on the phone and the two brothers and their sister did a lot of talking too which was good. They have Craig's recently widowed Mum and his brother there with them so it is laughter mixed with tears.

The weather was cool here, the food was cold meats, salads, fresh fruits and a delicious pudding provided by a friend of our daughter-in-law. It was a successful day but again Ray participated very little, the three grandchildren milled around but he didn't interact with them. It is a pity to see him going like this as he always adored playing with kids. Even the present opening seemed of little interest to him.

Isn't getting the presents right difficult? I tried hard to get gifts I thought would please and the kids finished up playing with a set of toy musical instruments I had added to the toy box since their last visit. The cacophony of sounds they made certainly wasn't music so I guess their mum was glad the instruments stayed on here! My favourite present was given to me by our next door neighbour. He gave me a gift certificate for a massage and a promise that he would come in and look after Ray while I went! Bless him for his thoughtfulness.

Ray has a urologist now, another medication to take, more tests at the end of January to pay for. Ouch!! it all comes at a price. No option of surgery at this stage, and maybe, just maybe, this will ease the incontinence or radically decrease it. I sincerely hope so as I am tired of wet bathroom floors etc. And the added risk of infections for Ray as well.

Can't say we had a Merry Christmas, but quieter is sometimes better. No harsh words, some kind wishes, a lot of fun watching the little ones dash around, and a thankful heart at the end of the day that all went so well.