Hi folks and a Happy New Year to you all. New Years Day in this part of Australia is sensational. It is fine, sunny and around 95 degrees with not a cloud in the sky. We went down by the lake for morning tea with a friend and his grandsons and had a terrific couple of hours. We had a walk along the lakeshore, about a mile each way. I was pushing the wheelchair and can tell you I felt every bit of my years by the time we got back to the car. We kept getting off the path to let little girls on new pink Christmas bikes ride through, as it is officially a bike path they have right of way!

We also got an invitation to go visit friends for dinner yesterday and spent about four hours with them. In the end we were all too tired to see the New Year in. We got home before midnight and Ray went straight to bed though I stayed up and watched the Sydney New Years fireworks on television. It is always a terrific show. This socialising really wears Ray out, I lap it up as without the social conatact we would be real lonely so I guess I have been pushing him a bit. I will have to program in a few quiet days for both of our sakes.

Seems we will have to do the computer the expensive way - pay someone! Our lot seem to be working or doing stuff for others so I am still not able to use my computer, it is still in bits on the floor. So no chatting for a while yet. I really do miss you all so just know you are all in my thoughts.

2008 is going to be a good year. That is my one and only New Years resolution. A friend of mine called years ending with an eight the year of the fat man, I remember 1998 as a great year so see no reason why 2008 shouldn't be too. It is a lot about positive thinking so I have decided to eliminate worry as much as possible. Given my nature that may be a pipe dream but I'll try.

We had a surprise this morning as our shower nurse Jeff arrived about 8.30am, his usual time. Unfortunately I had just finished showering Ray. I guess I had assumed as it is an official public holiday he wouldn't be coming. Guess I'll have to pay for that mistake! I am just so grateful for the help we get now. Jeff in particular is good value for money, he is kind and courteous, treats Ray with gentle respect, makes him feel a friend and not a "patient". It is easy to realise that without his help we would be closer to the dreaded time when I won't "cope" any longer.

It is getting harder to handle Ray, no use kidding myself about that. Ray has just started on Flomax extra for his water problems, another tablet to give out in the mormning, this one we have to pay full price for. I guess it may be a while before we notice the difference. Ray is so tired a lot of the time now, and also weaker walking. I know it is not because he doesn't exercise, or make an effort or any reason I can think of, it just seems to be something that is happening to him, cause unknown. Maybe he is having little seizures in his sleep is one of the doctor's theories. I just know it is really frustrating for him and more difficult for me.

January is going to be reading month for me. We have a few appointments already and our daughter and family will be here for a few days mid-month but I am going to try to take things easy for a while for my sake as well as Ray's. It is a necessity for me to feel rested. The run-up to Christmas is always busy and now it is summer, the time friends drop in or invite you over, so I will accept the invitations that I think we can cope with. I can't afford to turn any down without reason. I really need to keep those friends who are still happy to be in our company.

Jean - I finally read "My sister's Keeper" so if I could find the old book club blogs I could add my comments. I liked the book but thought the ending contrived. I could relate to a lot of the trials and tribulations of the mother and the sister. Caregiver over-reaction , caregiver stress and that kind of guilt that results in bad relationships all rang true to me. I try to be "Susie Sunshine" a lot of the time as you know but the stresses do build up, tensions get to breaking point and like most caregivers I have the occassional boil-over. Eight years and counting is a long time to subliminate some of those deeper feelings I guess. Surface views, Sue the angel, underneath....don't let's go there! And I intend to look after Ray for as long as I am physically and mentally able.

Just had a phone call from my Uncle in Canada, so commiserations to all of you who are suffering whiteouts, snow storms, frostbite, wind chills and any other snow related ills. I think I will just be thankful that as of today 2008 is great in this part of Australia!