It's Sunday today. Fine, a little too hot, even the breeze is hot. Looks like summer is back again. It is the Australia Day long weekend. A few years ago our national government said we were going to celebrate on the day, January 26th, no more long weekend, this year it is a Saturday and we still have a long weekend. Ah well, it is nice for families to have a long weekend to finish the school holidays so I am not begrudging them. But I lose a day off, no Daycare for Ray to go to so tomorrow I won't be able to do all my usual Monday things. I am sure I will still survive, just feel tireder by the end of the week.

Yesterday was a really good day. We had a service to celebrate Australia Day followed by breakfast at church. As entertainment there was a choir singing Aussie songs, the old and the new. It is a bit emotional singing all those songs that remind us of our pride in our country, and it brought tears to my eyes. I guess every other country does the national pride thing occassionally. I've been an Australian citizen since the early '80's. I was born in England and came to Australia in the days when you automatically became a permanent resident if you were accepted as a migrant. I decided to become a citizen for a few reasons: Ray is an Australian, my kids were born in Australia and it seemed odd to cling to the fact that I was born elsewhere and talk of England as "home" so I applied for citizenship. I am a proud Aussie now.

Then after we came home I did a Saturday clean-up, laundry, ironing, a bit of clearing out. Then it was time to clean ourselves up and go next door for a neighbour's BBQ. We get an invitation for dinner with our next door neighbour a couple of times a year. He is a competent host and it is always good food with some thoughtful preparation and deference to Ray's needs so very enjoyable. Last night was nice, some of the neighbours we knew and a couple we didn't, about twelve of us in all. Good food, good company. It was a pleasant night outside in his back courtyard where we ate and the temperature was perfect. We didn't come home until after ten.

There are not a lot of places we go and enjoy the experience these days. Ray's routine doesn't give us much freedom to accept invitations now. I remember I wrote some time ago of how going to a party operates for us. I have to prepare Ray to go. This starts in the morning with psyching him up. He needs to be in the mood, prepared to wake up early from a nap, have a shower, consent to putting new clothes on. Maybe the meal will be late so I give him a mini meal to take his tablets with. Then I have to prepare myself to go. I have to prepare any food we take with us, any giftware wrapped and ready, everything into the car. I have to drive there. In summer this is fine, in winter it can be a marathon.

Going next door was only a problem as far as walking there went. Out the front door, down our steps, down the path, across some uneven ground, up the next driveway, up a path, up some steps with no handrail, along the verandah, through the house, down some steps into the back yard. We had lots of offers of help but Ray and I are in a routine and walk in unison with me giving muttered instructions. The trip back home was in the dark and Ray was very tired but Trev came over and half carried him across all the hazards. He had declined the invitations to come over, he enjoyed a meal on his own without us I think. Living with your parents one of whom is an invalid is better if you can spend some time alone. I can relate to that big time.

Today we had a sermon about change. Not the kind of change where you move, but where you change your attitude towards something or someone. It was thought provoking for me as I have been thinking a lot about change. It could be because we are that period when all our appliances are close to breaking down, the cupboard door hinges going etc. Outside the gutter leaks, the fence wobbles and the car sounds as if it could do with a tune up and a set of new tyres. The normal changes that the wear and tear of living life day by day brings. Each change brings with it a need to make some decisions. Will I have a new fridge/freezer or seperate entities? If I need to have a new kitchen will I need to change a lot of things around? Maybe it is time to decide if I want a new stove like I have or a combination of hotplates and oven? Moving would be easier wouldn't it?

The car is now three years mine and it's warranty runs out soon so do I need to think about getting another car? No, no, no - I have just got used to this one! And finding this one was difficult as I wanted one that I could lift the wheelchair into in an upright position as it is so much easier on my back. Okay I could have one of those gadgets that lifts the wheelchair onto the roof but that reqires parking in a place where that is able to be done. It is all a matter of weighing up what needs to be done and then doing it. I find all this tiring in the extreme. I probably missed most of the sermon because I was thinking along these lines instead of listening.

Then there was a potluck lunch as a farewell to a couple who have been tireless workers, they are moving on to new endeavours, she for further ministy training, he to help as a volunteer in an organisation which needs his pastoral skills. You don't replace people like that - others take on some of the tasks but there is always a feeling that someone is missing. I don't agree with those who say everyone is replacable, they are not. We are all individuals and bring a unique character to any task we take on. So we all leave a gap that can't be completely filled when we go. Life may go on but maybe without the same rhythmn.

It is easier sometimes to just go on doing what we are doing, to not think about what lies ahead. But that sometimes leads to greater expense as something that breaks down has to be replaced instantly, leaving us with less choice. So maybe by thinking about making changes now in the end we will be better off. And the bigger changes - lifestyle changes - will inevitably overtake us not matter how we plan for them. As long as our attitude is right things will turn out for the best.