(((hugs))) to you dear as you go through this. I would definitely go after a second opinion for your hubby. The dementia issues are in of themselves frightening enough to be dealing with but for the neurologist to "rush" into hospice is a bit unreal.

Going on hospice does not necessarily carry with it a time line. Check out Art Buchwald for instance. The docs don't have a very good crystal ball.

Best wishes for the future,

John

rlt,

i am sending you a great big hug! i hope you will get that doctor to give you some details and why he/she said hospice. also, another opinion may be helpful. take a friend or family member with for support and clarification. i am not sure but i believe hospice has many facets - it could have much to do with pain management. please keep us posted - you are in my thoughts...kathy

Ruth:

I agree with all other comments I really hope and pray hospice does not mean end but it means getting medical care easily.

Asha

The "H" word here is the "R" word - Respite. This is more of a stop gap than a permanent measure. I get Ray into Respite twice a year, two weeks each time. That may increase in frequency as time goes by.

Mum on the other hand is in full time Respite...or I kid myself that is so. It is easier than saying I "had to put her away" or "she is in a nursing home" (SNF). She is just in a place where she can be cared for more efficiently and although that was the end of one part of our relationship it was the beginning of another.

You have really been on the slippery slope the last few months and I admire you as you hang on tight to the life you can see is the best for your husband. But, dear one, you can only hang at the end of the rope for so long. There will come a time when Hospice, or some other form of care, is what he NEEDS. And when that time comes you will know it in your heart.

In the meantime, live a little outside the timeline, do what you can for him and for you. And enjoy each day as you can see this part of your life is coming to a close, one way or another.

(((Hugs))) from Sue.

ruth, i agree with john, it does not always mean the end. get another opinion, or 2. yes as sue stated the end will come but it doesn't have to mean now. i will pray for you both to find comfort, in being together and better days ahead.

I have read and reread the above posts several times and appreciate the comments so much. Somehow they give me strength and courage. I am still at a loss as to why the doctor recommended hospice. I spoke with her on the phone and she seemed to back peddle and explain it was up to me what I decided to do. I just wanted to know WHY she recommended it! The primary care doctor says he cannot comment on it because he has not seen my husband since January. I feel like everyone is just trying to cover their tails. I have also done a tiny bit of research on Hospice. Next step would be talking to them directly. I have a call in to the VA to see what hospice they provide but who knows when I will hear back from them.