So I am 10 weeks post stroke an doing better than you can imagine in many ways. 10 weeks ago I couldn't stand or pick up my left arm. Today I am able to safely walk and am using my left hand to to help type this (but not as quick or mistake free as I would like, but...). Well here in the States I have been covered by FMLA since my stroke, meaning I could afford my to continue my health insurance and had a guarantee my job would be there. Well, FMLA runs out after 12 weeks, and now the questions come. I am not so worried about the job, but the health insurance is a real issue.

As I have stated before, I am separated from my wife. She is the custodial parent. My support order requires me to provide health insurance for my kids, a requirement I have not minded fulfilling to this point. Taking care of my kids health is a high priority for me. Despite my rocky relationship with my wife, the kids are still the most important thing in my life.

So here is where I am stuck. I want to make sure I am taking care of my family, but am I ready to resume work.? I have a desk job, while normally I would be expected to be able to pickup server computers (some up to 100#) with help, I am sure that can be worked around. But am I ready to 1. resume the commute (still waiting on the state with driving permission)? and, 2 to resume the day to day stresses of my company. I work for a high stress company, and my skills lay in the customer service operations area which comprises 90% of our employees, and where all the stress is located. :ranting:

I have found that since my stroke that since the stroke I my brain shuts down in stressful situations. Dealing with my wife or receiving the FMLA notice from my employer have triggered this. I have managed to get through these situations with help and also by taking them in small chunks. I know that is probably my body taking care of itself, but it makes me wonder how I would handle work.

Over the past week I have needed to sleep a lot. Probably averaging 11 hours a day. Again, probably my body taking care of itself, but I can't sleep that much and work effectively. :tired:

Today I tried to perform a simple spring task I have done every year for years, cleaning fans. I have several that need cleaned, and it is (or at least used to have been) an easy thing to take it apart, clean it and put it back together. I knew it would take more effort today, but figured I would only do 2 today instead of all 6 or 7 like I used to. I was barely able to complete one. In fact I had to take a break about half way through, and frankly I am disappointed in the quality of my work, but I couldn't keep going to do it as well as I wanted to. It was hard enough to get it back together. If one fan can kick my tail, what will a conference call with an upset client do to me. :Tantrum:

So I guess I am going to have to lawyer up and fight to change our support agreement. This is probably the worst feeling I could have. I have always taken care of my family, and sometimes killed myself to do so. Now I need to admit I can't do it for awhile. My wife is going to fight me on this, I can just taste it. :whack: Hopefully I'm wrong, but she wants to protect her stay at home lifestyle (she works 10 hours a week) and she doesn't want my stroke to interfere.

Thank you for taking the time to read my rant. I wish I could feel better about this