Hi JM

I just happened to read your blog post and must agree with you that there is life after stroke and like anything else in life. We need to accept what has happened, pick up the pieces and get on with the rest of our lives. We never know how good it can be unless we get out there and try.

Go for the Gold!!!

Smiles

Gary

Sorry dear we're not tired of you not even close, you can't get rid of us that easily we're a tough bunch

It is good to hear that you are starting to look up and forward for both your sakes. There is life after a stroke and yes it will be different, but it is what you make of it. I would complain to my husband that everything had changed and we couldn't do things we always did. We liked to go antiquing which was a bit tough before I could walk again. We do everything we did before maybe a bit more slowly or taking into consideration that I tire more easily but we still do it... just a little differently.

Hang in hun

Maria :friends:

Hang in there, and NO we are NOT tired of you.

I know sometimes it feels like we are always complaining (i have those days too). But, this is a great group of people and they really hold you up when times are tough. If we can't come here to vent where can we go???

It sounds like Larry's small motor skills are taking some nice babysteps forward... WOOHOO Larry. :Clap-Hands:

Hugs to you,

Anne

We are definitely NOT tired of you. Blogging is the perfect place to "let loose" - best not to keep all that stuff bottled inside of you. Larry is progressing...stroke recovery can be ever soooooooooooooooooooooooooo slow and agonizing for everyone.

You're starting to move forward in the scheme of things, which is good for you and Larry both. We cannot change the past or "Turn Back Time" as Cher sings so well. Life indeed does go on after stroke, just differently - counting our blessings is part of that.

Janine:

you can vent all here to regain your strength back to fight this stroke. It's not just Larry's fight, it is your fight too. and I can promise you one thing if you fight well there will b another 50 years of blessed life with Larry maybe little different but nonethless it's wonderful life. we can not change cards we are dealt, but we can change how well we play our hand that will differentiate us from known as survivors and not as victim of stroke.

Asha

Janine,

I have two suggestions for you. First, go to Classic Postings and print out "The Five Stages of Grief". It will give you a little insight into what is going on. It is something we have all had to face.

Next, start a personal journal on Larry's progress. This is different than a blog. My caregiver did this when I came home from the SNF. She just kept a running log of what I did each day. You will be surprised at the end of a month on how much progress Larry makes. You can do it for your own information and share it with Larry when you think he would be interested.

Don't apologize for venting. I used to get so angry, I wanted to throw something. Misti said I could, but I had to use my affected arm. Well, I couldn't throw very far, but it made us laugh.

Take care of yourself and get some rest.

(Mom) aka Vi

Thank you, Vi. These are good suggestions - I'm pretty familiar with the Kubler-Ross stages of grief, just by outside reading, and they seem pretty accurate. I feel right now like I'm swinging between denial and depression. Since I'm an atheist I don't really do the "bargaining" step, since I don't believe that there's anyone there to bargain with, so that kind of makes it the 4 stages for me. Anger is definitely also there. It's interesting how you don't necessarily move from one stange smoothly into the next; there is actually a lot of overlap, like feeling denial and anger at the same time. I am trying hard to get to acceptance, but not there yet....

The day after the stroke happened I started a journal documenting everything that's happening - what Larry can and can't do, who I talked to, who said what, and every detail I can think of. That has been very helpful. I also started a timeline in Excel that shows day by day what is going on, and also gives me a place where I can put things that I need to follow up on. There is so much paperwork, and claims to file, and forms to fill out - without the timeline I know that I would start losing track.

It's good to know that I'm on the right track with this stuff...I wish I was more savvy about how the system works, but I'm learing every day. Staying organized helps me feel more in control, even if I'm really not, and that helps too.

Thanks again for your thoughts.

-Janine

Hi Janine

It is a bit late for me to say "welcome to blogging" but as I have been lost in cyberspace for the last ten days this is my first opportunity. I can hear an echo in so much of what you have said in what I said after each of Ray's strokes.

Each stroke is SO devastating for the surviuvor, the family and even to friends and colleagues that it is hard to believe that life even goes on..but it does. I laughed at your "Red Queen" blog as I so agree. I run as fast as I can and still finish up the day with more to do than I started out with! When will it ever end? I've been nine years in the caregiver role now and there have been good times, bad times and what the h*** times but I am still here and so is Ray.

I just encourage you to take one day at a time, do your best with the knowledge you have and add to it as you go. Don't blame yourself for mistakes others see in you, that is just their prejudices filtering the view. I wish I could give you advice from all my experience but each persoon has to find his or her own way through the maze. No-one can syphon into you all the knowledge you'll need for the journey, but we can all stand by and cheer you on.

(((Hugs))) from Sue.