One thing good that has come out of Larry's stroke is that I have a whole new appreciation for what it means to be in good health, something I have always taken for granted before. At age 50, I've piled on some extra pounds - lots of them, actually - I take medication for high blood pressure, and my last checkup showed that I was borderline diabetic. I work in a high-stress profession (who doesn't?), and I tend to sit at a desk for long periods without getting up, moving around, or doing anything physical. I haven't really felt great physically for several years now, but just chalked it up to getting older and was too caught up in my daily life to feel any motivation to do anything about it.

There is something about seeing the man you love in a nursing home bed that changes your life forever. Larry didn't take very good care of himself, either - overweight, high BP and cholesterol, all the classic stroke-waiting-to-happen things. I'm not saying that this was his fault, only that he didn't do anything to try to dodge the bullet. He is 15 years older than I am, and I can see that I am headed straight down the same path, and I really, really do not want to go there. All my doctor's nagging had no effect; Iwould just put off my appointments for as long as possible and then grumble about how she never had anything good to say.

My triathlete step-son has been encouraging me to get out and walk every day, and has gone with me several times. It's only been a few weeks, but I really do feel a lot better physically (mentally I am a wreck, but getting exercise helps with that too). I'm starting to feel more energetic, which I am going to need in the months to come. I'm eating much better, and although I don't own a scale - denial IS my middle name! - I can tell that I've lost weight. It's hard changing your old, bad habits, but it's interesting that I don't even seem to WANT to overeat or eat junk anymore. I feel like the shock of seeing what Larry is going through has caused me to take my own health seriously for the first time ever, and hopefully this change will keep the same thing from happening to me.

Larry had a better day today. He was up in the wheelchair for an hour - first time he has been out of bed since 5/8 when he went to the cardiac care unit at the hospital after he passed out. He's eating better too; not a whole lot, but at least something for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Not really much improvement in his speech, but the physical and occupational therapies are helping and he's getting stronger on his left side. His right side is still totally paralyzed, and mabye that will come back and maybe not. As always, there is no way to know, all I can do is be patient and hope.

-Janine