Janine,

You said: ".....finally I hit on the right thing, and he looked at me and said 'BINGO!' It was so funny; I really was not expecting it. Of course he wouldn't say it again when I asked him to...."

One thing you should know about apraxia (which you said Larry has along with the aphasia): words that come out spontaneously without forethought like Larry saying bingo, are in a different classification than "planned speech"---trying to say a word on purpose. "Emotion driven" words like the 'bingo' just come out and require no thought about sequencing of the mouth and tongue. With apraxia, that sequencing is what is hard to do with planned speech (both written and verbal). It's like a car with a broken transmission where the engine works (the brain) and the wheels work (the mouth and tongue) but the message in between gets lost.

My point in telling you this is that you should never think or express to Larry that he is being stubborn when he doesn't repeat or write a word for you on command. He most likely can't do it. Your reactions to him when he doesn't say something are very important here.

Jean

Jean, thank you for this information! I did not know this, and it's not the first time this has happened. I assumed that Larry was just being "contrary" - which was definitely one of his personality traits pre-stroke - and that it was within his control whether or not to say a word again. I asked him to say it again, but didn't castigate him when he wouldn't, and now I know that it's not in his power and won't push him if he can't do it.

Aphasia and apraxia are pretty fascinating. I like Oliver Sacks (who wrote "Awakenings"), and I had read about both of these conditions in his books before Larry's stroke. Now that I have a vested interest it's even more interesting. What strange things the mind does!

Thank you again, I appreciate having a better understanding of this.

-Janine

Janine,

You might find this article helpful: http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/1...is_aphasia.html

Jean

Thanks, Jean. That's a more clear explanation of aphasia/apraxia than I've seen anywhere, and I've been looking. There's no substitute for the experience of someone who has been through this. Your husband's aphasia sounds a lot like mine's, although since Larry's stroke was less than a month ago I'm hoping that we'll see some improvement.

I could not do this alone - thank you for taking the time to help.

-Janine

Janine,

As you can see Jean is a very intelligent and caring woman who is well versed and experienced with aphasia. Her firsthand knowledge and story of how far her husband has come will surely be an inspiration to you as it is to us all.

Don't beat yourself up for standing up for your husband or yourself and don't let it deter you from doing it again if need be.

Janine:

I know one thing for sure that caregiving is really scary. when I come and read blogs on these site. I feel fortunate to be survivor. though over my 4 years of surviving stroke I learnt one thing. this challenge in my life is not only my challenge but my hubby's challenge too. and to have fruitful life one more time, we both have to fight hard. you are advocate for Larry and you are doing great job in it. so pat yourself and fight hard for both of you.

Asha

Janine,

It is so often difficult to know when to do things and when to wait. Sometimes you get it right sometimes you don't . There are a number of things that may have happened that netted zero yeild after six hours. It might have been missed on the chart that cathing had all ready been done or maybe he was able to go on his own. One that I saw in the hospital is if the nurse does not insert the cath far enough. Some will do this because they are lazy. And some just are not very skilled even though it is a simple proceedure. The head nurse may have wanted to make a point. I suggest that you learn to do this yourself. There is also an instrument which will measure the volume of the bladder externally. This helped a few times we had some difficulties with my husband.

I too find it difficult to be assertive. I learned very quickly after my husbands stroke. It is necessary, unfortunately. The more crowded the facility the greater the need. It helps to get to know the nurses and aides which routinely work with your husband. I learned which people I could go to and a few to avoid. I also learned to ask that certain people NOT be assigned to work with my husband.

All in all it sounds like Larry is progressing much faster than my husband did. That is really quite encouraging. Recovery is a loooonnnnngggg process but the more you get back in the first few months seems to set the trend often for later recovery.

Ruth

I did find out today what happened - the nurse that was supposed to check Larry at 3:30 right before she went home actually left at 3:00 and says that she told a supervisor to do the cath and the supervisor dropped the ball. That's her story, anyway. In any case, I noticed today that everyone on the staff was very conscientious about checking every 4 hours to see if the cath was needed. One of the staff who did the cath was a trainee, and exactly as stated above she did not get it in far enough. When her supervisor took over and got it in further, they drained 600 cc's. That may be what happened yesterday.

I've been watching every time they do the cath, and I'm actually not worried about learning how to do it. I will ask for some hands-on training and see if they will show me. Larry will probably be pretty nervous about that - this is not somewhere that either of ever expected to go in our marriage! - but I do think it's probably a skill that I'll need to learn and it does not look that difficult. I think Larry knows that it's either this or the Foley, and he sure does not want that!!

-Janine