I'm sure it was with mixed emotions you did go back to work. What many families do is place a notebook in the room and request that the nursing staff write notes to the family as to what goes on. If they agree to do that, you can also leave messages for them as well. That way you have a running daily update, in writing.

The web cam is a good for at home, if you can arrange it; will your employer permit you to do that though at work? You don't want to do anything to risk your job as you are on "company time". It is similar to a working parent taking away from their job with issues regarding their child. I know this from experience as a single Mom with a boss who felt I should eat, breathe, and sleep my job.

Be sure to get your rest and eat right as you're doing double duty.

hey Janine:

do you have any other family members you can line up for Larry during his therapy. just having family member is a huge plus. maybe you can ask Larry's children to come & vidit Larry during his therapy session. they can just stay there. webcam is god idea. I hope & pray Larry goes to acute rehab b4 he goes home

Asha

Hi, Asha - no, there is nobody else that can be there during the day...I'm it. Larry's son has been pretty good about coming up once a week or so to visit, but he lives 75 miles away and it's not feasible for him to be here more often that that. His daughter lives closer, but still about 40 miles, and she works full time. His other relatives are out of the question - out of state. We don't have a lot of friends here - we moved when Larry took his last job, and most everyone we know is at least an hour away; those friends we do have all work just like I do.

I have the white board in Larry's room and leave notes for the therapists on that, and sometimes they do the same for me.

The web cam is OK through work. I run two separate monitors, and I can work on one and have Larry up on the other one. I'll need to find someone who knows what they're doing to install it (I sure don't!), but at least then I can see what's going on during the day.

I am so scared...the anxiety just will not stop - the next few weeks are going to be very challenging. I too am hoping that Larry goes back to Acute before he comes home, but they are already hinting to me that they don't think he's ready. I asked that someone from Acute come in and evaluate Larry in person - Kaiser contracts with the Acute facility, they don't own it, so my hope is that Acute will be more lenient about whether or not he can go back than a Kaiser person would be (since the cost comes out of Kaiser's pocket).

I'm eating right, and sleeping sometimes, and walking, and just trying not to fall apart.

xxxoo

-Janine

Jean, I am very concerned about what might go on in the house when I'm not here to watch. I have heard several stories like the one you reported, and I think having the Web cam in a hidden place makes a lot of sense. Running the dual monitors is great; I can work on one and watch the Web cam out of the corner of my eye on the other.

Larry has now lost 40 lbs since the stroke - he's at about 260 lbs now, which is a lot better than 300. I've seen the Hoyer lifts used, and something like that could work if Larry isn't at the point of safely doing a one-person transfer when he gets home. His left side is very strong and he does seem to be motivated to keep trying, so I'm hopeful, but we'll see how it goes. I would rather have a female caregiver if that's possible, and would really like to start getting him out into the world as soon as possible. He's beein in that depressing room at the SNF for way too long, and that can't be good for him.

Fortunately, Larry drove a van before this happened, so maybe we can get it modified to accommodate a wheelchair. I went online today and looked at options - everyone seems to sell the already-modified conversions, which are $$$, but if I can find someone who would convert what we already have that would be great. I will keep looking.

Thanks for sharing your experience and your great ideas. It helps more than you can ever know!

-Janine