Janine:

As a survivor I don't have any pearl of wisdom except to send you lot of virtual hugs and real prayers on your way. I think antidepressant is great idea. you can go on for few months and later wean yourself off them. I was on them almost for 2 years and now off them for almost a year or two. BTW I know you don't believe in God but during trying times having faith that things will turnaround helps a lot. I feel in my case having faith gave me lot of inner strength to get through adversity in life. so just have faith that things will change soon and that too for better.

Asha

Hi Janine,

Bill has had a couple of issues, both of which we were told are neurologic in nature. At times he had an "urgency" to urinate but was unable to do so. He was told the signals were getting crossed. He is also taking flomax. I've not heard of the other medication.

The other issue is not having a sense of need to urinate - or have a bowel movement - until it happens. Or very nearly happens and there isn't enough time to get to the bathroom. These are the issues we no struggle with, and his PCP and Neurologist have both told us we are dealing with stroke and dementia issues. I have certainly attempted to "retrain" him on a schedule in hopes of him regaining the sensation in time to make it, but have not had much success.

We now use Depends when he sleeps because it is such an issue now. It isn't ideal, but it is certainly better than dripping all the way to the toilet. He is unable to use a urinal without my assistance.

I do know that one way retraining is used when one has a foley catheter is to clip it and work on a schedule. That used to be a technique used with a woman after having surgery and having to have a foley catheter. I saved having to reinsert the catheter if unable to urinate independently. The last time Bill was in the hospital he had a foley catheter and he did have the sensation of needing to urinate. It was after a couple of days of him voicing his need to the nursing staff that the foley was removed.

I know what you mean about needing to have a nervous breakdown, but just not having the time!!! That's just a "luxury" we are going to have to wait for, my dear! I finally took the advice of some friends and the doctor and succombed to an anti-depressant. Lexapro was suggested, but I just couldn't take it. It made me very sick and I couldn't get used to it! I now take Cymbalta, but have never gone beyond the initial dose of 30 mg per day. I take it at night before I go to sleep. I can't tell any real difference, except (and this is a pretty big "except") I have better control over my stress eating.

Good luck to you!!!

Ann

I worked with GYN we did urodynamic testing in women. A special catheter is inserted .. one in the urethra and one in the rectum. Sterile water is instilled in the bladder, if there is contractions or spasm they are recorded. on paper. I am not sure of the whole procedure for men... as I worked in OB/GYN but I'm sure it is pretty much the same thing.

To see how much the bladder will comfortably hold, if the problem is with muscle or with nerves. by type of spasm . The patient empties their bladder in a special toilet that also measures strength of stream and if their is pausing and stopping while voiding.

You could call the Dr's office and ask to be put on a waiting list for cancellations. I would also call and ask to speak with the urologists nurse or the triage nurse, explai th medications, make sure he is supposed to be on both. and mak sure they know the catheter is still in.. etc.

I think often questions dont get answered, and when one Dr is sending someone to a specialist then one Dr may think the other explained...etc. Don't be afraid to ask questions. and I write them down as I think of them... it is so easy to get off track.. and go home with many questions not answered.

Bonnie

Thanks to all who responded to this...as always, your help and input is what keeps me going!

Jean, thank you for the info from the National Stroke Association. I hadn't seen that before, though I've been on that site many times. They have good layperson-friendly information, and it was helpful. Yes, I am going to see someone about antidepressants. I'll start with my primary care doc and see what she says. I just can't keep falling apart, it makes it too hard to get anything done!

Asha, thank you for your prayers. Even though I don't believe, I think positive energy is a real force (I'm from California, and it's the law here!). I'll accept it in whatever form it takes, and I thank you for your kind thoughts.

Ann, I've asked the SNF case manager if they are going to take him off the Foley and see if the Proscar is working. That seems so basic, but she has not answere me yet. I sent her a follow up email today. I am a BIG fan of paper trails! I also asked (again) what Larry's cholesterol readings look like, since he's on Zocor and that makes me nervous -he had a lot of trouble with statins in the past, and I'm concerned about him taking this - I want to know at least that it's doing him some good. Their standard procedure seems to be to ignore me 2 or 3 times, then finally give me a trickle of information. Aaargh! I expect that Larry will be using Depends when he comes home, unless he has greatly improved, and I've been watching carefully to learn the changing techinque. You would think that after all this stuff I would no loner thing of Larry as a man, and as my husband, but I do. I feel such tenderness and love when I help with the basic things that need to be done - including changing diapers - and I think often of how lucky I am to be on this end of the equation and not his end. He is such a dear man, and woudl do the same for me if the tables were turned! I chose a good one.

Bonnie, I did put myself on the waiting list for cancellations and hoping that something will comeup. Kaiser is just hard to deal with - nothing ever hapens fast over there. Thank you for the insight on what the testing involves. I've been reading about it online too and learned some things.

xxx's and ooo's

-Janine