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Janine,

Larry seems to be progressing quite nicely and it is wonderful that they will continue to work with him there and then move him to an acute rehab, In acute rehab they will work him very hard and expect much more rapid results which is what they need to evaluate he's ready for. At that point though you will be astonished at what he will be able to do.

I agree with Jean. As I was reading about your not understanding what he meant by you won't go?. My first thought was not right then, but you're not going to leave me? I'm sure just as you've cried because you longed for having him and things back the way they were. He's an intelligent man and he knows that you felt that way and fears that you'd bail. As Jean said it's fairly common, many do. Lately your blogs have been more upbeat. It seems you have been more focused on him when you visit which may give Larry a sense that you're not overwhelmed and complaining but rather are supportive and sticking by his side. Interesting that question came a few days after you stopped talking about changes to the house etc. He may have thought you were setting him up to be able to live on his own and that's why he got so freaked out about it. Don't try to explain and potentially give him any more food for thought, just be there. That'll do it he's not stupid he'll get it.

Maria :friends:

Janine:

I agree with all others, I thought of same thing when Larry said you won't go? I know I worried about it too even thogh my hubby was with me 24X7 still I worried. I know lot of marriages fall apart after stroke but i think the marriags which had problms beforehand tend to fall apart sooner. BTW lot of marriages become stronger too, and ours did. Though I m very happy and grateful he stayed. I view my stroke as blessing lot of good came out of my stroke I became better mother and wife & realized my 6 figure salary job could be replaced and should not be treated above my family.Now they come first.

I am glad things are going on direction you want. BTW you are doing amazing job of keeping up with all this phone tag, insurance. I know it can overwhelm lot of people.

Asha

janine, larry sounds like he is progressing well, keep him focused in that direction. i agree that i think larry was worrying about you leaving him. he is not a stupid man by any means. just be with him and offer plenty of reassurance to him and praise on how well he is doing. have you attended any of his therapy sessions? my family came to mine and offered so much encouragement to me cause they saw how hard i was working at getting better and wanting to come home. keep up the good work you both are doing. i wish you both the best.

I never interpreted what Larry said that way, but maybe that IS what he meant. I worry when we can't communicate and he gets so frustrated; I feel sometimes like I'm upsetting him and should just leave, so I guess I had that thought in my mind first thing when he said it.

I would never leave him, no matter what the future might hold. I took those vows seriously, and I know he did too, and that if this had happened to me he would be right there with me and we would get through it together. The one really good thing I've done in my entire life was recognizing what a good man he is, and the one really lucky thing that's ever happened to me was marrying him. Nothing will ever change that, and in case he doesn't already know it I will make sure to tell him so again when I see him tomorow.

Kimmie...I attended lots of his therapy sessions in May when I took off work for a month, both when he was in Acute rehab (before he was transferred to the SNF), and where he is now. I've learned a lot, although I have a long way to go. Some of the therapists were very good about showing me what to do and then letting me do it myself, which is a whole lot different from just watching! I've also paid a lot of attention to how to change a diaper, how to help Larry get to a sitting position, how to do the transfer (still needs 2 people to do it safely, but I get the idea), and everything else that I can absorb. There is a lot to learn, but I'm going to do it. I keep telling myself that by this time next year it will all be a routine - not easy, but Larry and I will be used to it and will have worked it out. Thank you for all your good thoughts!

xxxoo

..jm..