hey bart:

you need to do it for yourself. yes you can feel sorry for yourself today but then get up & start marching you can't let stroke win over you. trust me keep fighting. life is worth fighting for. I know it firsthand. trust me there is wonderful life post stroke. it's our choice and our attitude towards adversity defines the person.

Asha

Bart,

I agree with Asha. You know we all climb on the pity pot now and again and that's ok. We just need to remember to stand up and flush the darn thing. There is life after stroke. Sometimes as we go through the everyday drudgery of pushing forward we get tired. Then we need to sit back for a bit and regroup.

You are a survivor; come on chin up and keep fighting the fight with the rest of us.

You're not alone. We might be with you here in cyber space but know that in spirit we're right beside you every step of the way - honest

((hugs)))

bart,

you are NOT alone in your feelings! you had your stroke very recently and your life and your emotions are in an uproar. it will, and it does get better with time. i am now 3 years post stroke and life is okay. i continue to work on improving each day....that is not to say i don't have my sad, bad and blue times. if possible don't look ahead , but rather try and stay in the moment. you CAN DO THIS FOR YOURSELF a minute, an, hour and a day at a time. blog, post, chat and KNOW that we are here for you and all here understand your pain. be patient with yourself...your brain is just starting to heal. big hugs to you...kathy

Hi Bart, Stroke is so sudden.. in one moment everything is changed. Change is not always a bad thing. You have been injured.. just as if you would have had some other type of injury, it takes time. Sometimes it feels as if it is at a "snails pace" . IT sucks.. no other word for it .. I agree. I have there is still a GOOD quality of life, and enjoyment.

Right now you feel betrayed... by your mind and body. I could do these things.. before. Well we have to remember .. it is NOT before , it is NOW, a few weeks or months, after an injury. We have to rest, and work hard. Cheer and be Happy and celebrate every improvement. You will get ceative.. on how to do things in what ever way is easiest for you.

I am 5 yrs post stroke now. No I still don't like it that I had a stroke, but I am happy to watch my grandchildren grow, have time with my husband, play with my dogs. etc. Life has not stopped. We ae still on the merry go round, but now we are going a little slower..

We are for survivors.. for what reason? I don't know, but I do know, after some of my own pity parties, some hard work and adjustment.. I am GLAD to be here. Your not alone, we are here, we have survived.

I look around and I see many, many more people with worse things than I have. Then I try to stop.. and count my blessings. My dad always said " IF you look, You will Always find someone worse off than you."

Hang in there.. some days are rough, and getting over tired,, over doing, ovr thinking, makes every thing worse... Rest when you need, do what you can, Remember "It is Always Too Early To Give Up"

Bonnie

Hi Bart,

You said something that struck me. You said you won't do this for you, you'd do it for someone else. My husband has three master's degrees and used to love to read and he enjoyed writing some short stories too. He had the most gorgeous handwriting. On October 25, 2004 that was taken from him. His stroke took his ability to read, write, see anything to the right of mid-nose and his short-term memory.

I will break his anonymity by telling you he is a recovering alcoholic. Since he can't drive I take him to at least three AA meetings a week, and many weeks five or more. He sleeps a lot and he has his eyes closed during lots of the meetings. He has aphasia and vascular dementia so he has difficulty putting a sentence together and he doesn't share during the meetings. But, he is present. He is there for the people who may not feel like going to a meeting. I've heard more than one person say they didn't feel like going to a meeting, but then they thought about Bill...He also has right side weakness due to the stroke he had March 21, 2005. He uses a cane and isn't very steady.

What am I saying? When you see Bill you know it isn't easy for him to get out and around. He can't drive, he isn't going to drink or use drugs. He does go to meetings for himself, but you know what? His determination is making a difference in the lives of others who see him and ask themselves what they are willing to do for their own recovery.

He certainly could have wanted a drink. But he's never asked for one. Just know Bart, when you do for yourself you are doing for some other *beep*. Hang in there, Man. Today may be bad and tomorrow may be worse. But that doesn't mean it will always be awful. Bill's first year was a roller coaster and I learned then not to expect tomorrow to be better than today, and not to expect it to be worse. We have learned the real meaning of "just for today". You are a valuable human being. You really are.

Ann

I know what you mean, Bart. It's a good thing there is always a tomorrow. That's why I prefer to take it one day at a time and if I feel like sh....... today, I just put one foot in front of the other and do the next "right" thing until today is over. Then I get to have a new day.

Leah