Ray and I went to our Lions dinner last night. The Lions Club meets twice a month for a dinner meeting at one of the local surf clubs. This is a wonderful venue in summer, right on the beachfront, but a bit chilly in winter with the wind blowing off the sea.

Last night we had all the usual business part of the meeting plus our dinners and then there was a guest speaker. Most speakers speak for 20 minutes so we are out of there by about 9pm. Last night it was actually a wine tasting, or rather a wine appreciation talk so those members who like wine much enjoyed the next hour and those of us who didn't or couldn't just hung around.

And so the inevitable happened and Ray had an "accident" as soon as he stood up. He went off to the toilet and I waited until everyone else left and went into the men's toilet and cleaned him up. It is a very awkward situation really as I do keep a "kit" in the car but you really need a hand basin to do it successfully, so I did the best job I could and showered him when I got home.

This kind of incident emphasises the difference between the carers and non-carers among us. A couple of the men realised something was going on and offered to stay but the five other women just walked out, not even thinking that I needed help. The person who stayed to the end was an off-duty policeman. I guess he is used to body fluids and knew he could help if needed.

I am grateful to our Lions Club members for sticking with us for the ten years since Ray's strokes. To the best of their abilities ( which varies of course) they empathise or sympathise, visit or send a card when he is in hospital etc. They are just the normal "good people" you would find in any other part of society. And it is part of the Lions Charter that they help the needy and I guess to a certain exent that includes people like us.

There is no light at the end of the tunnel for long term carers, luckily there are people holding candles to light our path. God bless them all.