Donna,

I was reminded of a saying my Dad always said to me when I was Kristi's age. I did not appreciate it then, but I do now. "Someday you will wake up and see how smart your dumb father was."

Take care of yourself. Teens always go through these trying times. From what you have said over the years, it seems like you have done a terrific job raising your daughter. This too will pass.

Hi Donna,

I am sorry this was a difficult one for you. My two boys have not yet reached that age so i can not speak to the experience directly. I can only speak from where i am and what i heard in your entry, which, by the way, conveyed your emotions very well. I want to tell you that, to your credit, to know that someone who has much post-stroke time behind them, and who has done so well, for me to understand that still they can go to the place you talk about, and to know that stroke has played such a role in family relationships, is, in fact healthy, as well as inspiring. You set an example that tells me i should not let myself go to a place where i fear sharing the truth of my experiences with others who care. For me personally, Donna, i want to thank you for your honesty and to tell you i very much hope that things with your daughter will heal for the sake of you both.

In Friendship,

Brian

Donna, I know deep down Kristi adores you. She is just going through her "thing".... I am happy you posted as this is a very healing place for you to "dump" .... just remember to flush so you can get rid of it. You are such a special person and you are respected, loved and admired here. You are a very loving Mom and you have done all this as a single mom, with your resources. You have had to sacrifice for her sake. You put her before youself. There is not one selfish bone in your body. Please take time to reflect on your good qualities and realize she is just a teen and with that goes a whole lot of stuff. Just that stuff. She doesn't have a good group of friends, that is one thing she needs. You are so caring, the Birthday cake you made for her was beautiful and made with love. The gifts you got her were so thoughtful, you went out of your way for her. She will realize one day how blessed she was that you were her Mom. The grass isn't always greener on the other side. Deep down inside I know she knows your worth.

I am keeping you both in my prayers.

Love n Hugs, Jan

The late teenage years can be emotion filled and hectic. Unfortunately, you are the only one Kristi has to vent to or against at this time. I was raised by a single mom and I know what she went through to pay the bills. She was an RN and worked many extra shifts. Living on one paycheck with children is not easy.

There will come a time, and I know it to be true, that Kristi will let you know how much she appreciates you and all that you have done. It can't be easy for you living on Social Security and raising her. There are only so many ways you can stretch a dollar.

We know you love Kristi and care about us. Ultimately, it all balances out. Hang in there, Donna, and know that positive thoughts and prayers are coming your way. I just wish I lived closer to you.

donna, teenager years are the worst. kids think they know whats best for them and they are mature enough to know it all. kristina is testing the waters, knowing you can't come after her to check up on whats shes doing, i agree with jan her circle of friends are'nt friends at all. she will come to realize that soon enough. i know you both love each other very much. you have done a great job raising her, she will appreciate it one day when she has kids of her own! if its any comfort to you, you only have another year to go through this,LOL getting her through high school is a major job these days. we can only love and teach them the rights and wrongs, then pray they make the right choices. never give up hope on them either. i know the stress and tears they can cause. her working has opened the doors to independence for her. it does get better, believe it or not. its good you can come here to vent and know others here will understand and listen. hang in there are my words of wisdom,LOL.

you know i love you both very much and you both are in my thoughts and prayers.

Donna,

You gotta love a teenager, but you don't have to always like the way they act. I'm sure she regrets the things she has said to you in the heat of the moment and will some day look back and feel really bad about it.

We all know you do a great job with her and if she doesn't think so, she needs to speak to my sons - I believe I have the title of "Worst Mother in the World" and I'm not ready to give up that title!! LOL

Sarah

Donna,

I am in a different situation. As I think about what to say I have so many things on my mind. About 11 years ago, I left my husband and children due to emotional abuse. At the time, I could not afford to take care of my children, and even every else, I knew how much my now ex loved our children. At the time, I was working as an assistant manager of a fast food restaurant, at the same time, I was taking classes to get a associates degree. Now my kids are all grown up. They are 22 and 19. They are trying to understand what has happened to me with my stroke. Recently my family had a family reunion week that my children were able to go to. Because of my stroke and seizures that have also caused severe car sickness I was not able to go. I'm sure that my family just doesn't understand, even though a few months ago I was able to discuss a bit of what I have been going thru emotionally and I think my folks might understand a little more now. My mom is a retired RN and my dad is a retired Methodist pastor. Hang in there with your daughter. She needs you more now than ever even though she's not going to admit that to you right now.

Thank you everyone for your replies. Today was a better day for me; I did stand up and flush that old pity pot. Got to take it a day at a time.

Donna,

I am so glad that you flushed the pot. Good for you ...You are a great MOM! You are wonderful and so helpful on this site. I was a single mom at one time. It is difficult....Kids will be kids. But, it sounds like you did a wonderful job of raising your daughter. I have a son.....and he is he joy of my life. All grown up now. 31 years old. I can't believe it!! Time flies by fast if you measure it by the age of your children.

You are a sweetheart. Single Moms have to be superhuman to get everything done. God give give the strength to do what you have to do. You did it. Congratulations.

But you made it...And she did too, into a fine young lady with experience of caring for her sweet mother dear.

You were blessed 17 years ago by God.

Hi Donna, Yes at this age "parents" are not "smart! This too will pass. You are one TERRIFFFIC MOM .. You have and are always doing your best for Kristi.. and she will see and appreciate this.. maybe not today or tomorrow. But she will.. and she will know she had the best mom for her on earth.

I remember.. and regret some of the things I said when I was a teen to my parents.. Being a parent. and seeing life I now understand the why's and why not's. This does not come until one experiences life.

Teens are self centered and want what they want at this point for the most part.. especially with peer pressure etc. All you can do do is what you have been doing.. Teach them right from wrong, give them morals. and hope they choose the right path.

Sending big HUGS Bonnie

I have a 17 year old boy...all I can say is, "I feel your pain"!!!

Kristen

dear Donna,

you are a TERRIFIC Mom ~ Kristi has been your whole life. one day, when she has a family of her own, she will understand a whole lot more than she does now.

i went through much the same [before my stroke] with my daughter when she was a teen. teen-agers seem to know how to cut the deepest, to carve the most painful emotional wounds.

good for you for talking about it here ~ and for your indominable courage to get right back up on your feet and keep on "keeping on".

some day Kristi will understand, and appreciate you for the wonderful person and Mother you are.

blessings to you,

Sally [skyrider]