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The Value Of A Day..Embrace It



The Value of a Day..... Embrace it and let those close to you know you love them.


Every little girl, through time, has always played dress up and had dreams of getting married one day. I know I have envisioned my wedding with Mr. Right with my girlfriends. There was that phase when I wanted to have a Rainbow Wedding as I love rainbows and I wanted everyone to wear a different color dress to reflect the color of the rainbow, oh, yes, then back in 1968 when I was "going steady" with my Surfer Dude, Rod. We had talked about getting married and having a "Beach Wedding" and he would have his "Surfer Dude" Buds hold their Surfboards as we would walk under then as they were the Aisle on the Beach. Those were the days. Oh, yes, and all those slummer parties where your girlfriend and you would discuss that "White Picket Fence, and hubby and children and pet"...

I had been invited to a wedding of a friend's Son which was to take place in New Jersey. I had RSVP'd that due to my situation, I wouldn't be able to attend. Ended up the Bride's Father suffered a major heart attack and ended up in ICU a few days before the actual wedding was to take place. Everyone decided to go ahead and have the wedding any way they could. So, with the help of their friends, hospital staff, etc. they held the wedding in the Chapel, the Bride had always envisioned her Dad walking her down the aisle, so the Nurses, Dr's wheeled her Dad down the small aisle while holding her hand. The pictures were so beautiful, the love shining in their eyes while gazing at one another. She was stunning, not the wedding she had planned, however, it was a wedding she will always remember. In fact, I bet it meant more to her than the big one she had planned. Her Dad was there with her. The reception with the wedding cake, finger food was held in the ICU Waiting Room.

This was such a touching letter from my dear friend. He said her Dad is holding his own but still not out of the woods. They put their Honeymoon on hold.

This was such a touching story of true love.....


Then during the week I found out one of the cancer families I had helped years ago had a tragedy again. Chad was eleven when he was diagnosed and needed a Bone Marrow Transplant in order to live, his little sister had donated her Bone Marrow and Chad got into remission. He had relapsed years later and his Sister, once again, donated her Bone Marrow. He had a few years but then he passed. The Love that his Sister had for her Brother. I was told that she died in a car accident .... she was 19.


These two examples show the value of unconditional love for one another. One never knows if today is your last. Have no regrets, tell those you care about how much they mean to you. Once the person is gone, it is too late.


The biggest thing that is going on in our lives is our dear friends, Randy and Phyllis. Wayne, Phyllis and Randy were roommates years ago. Randy and Phyllis got married and have been married for 25 years. They had gone on a cruise in June to celebrate. They are Wayne's best friends. Randy is like a Brother to Wayne. On July 28th we were notified that Randy had been diagnosed with Stage Four Liver Cancer and he also had Hep C. We were notified Thursday evening that he wasn't going to make it through the night. The family had been called in and his Daughter was coming in from Korea. His Mom, Aunt and Brothers were on their way there as well. Randy is 46. The greatest guy you would ever want to meet. Again, one never knows what tomorrow will bring. This has brought memories back when I went through losing my Paul. He was 39 and we were married eleven and a half years. He was only in ICU from Monday to Monday. My heart goes out to Phyllis. Also, he was only sick for two and a half months, the same time frame as my Mom. It has brought back memories of that as well.

Sometimes we go through journeys, life's experiences and we stop and wonder "Why am I going through this?" We learn through everything we go through and everyone we meet. We store these experiences because you never know how your experience might help another person in life. I know losing Paul and my Mom in such a short period of time has helped me help Phyllis. I can feel her pain and truly be there for her. Same thing as being a Brain Stem Stroke Survivor, I can share my experience, strength and hope with others who are just starting out. Giving of one's self is so important.

Not to make this Blog all sad in tone but it is something I felt important to share.

God is in the midst of everything.

Today we are to meet our two daughters and grandchildren half way for lunch.

This will be the first time I will be "walking in" without being in my wheelchair. I can't wait to see them and see the shock on their faces. This will be a "Hallmark Moment" for sure. My Rollaider is such a Blessing in my life. I call it my "Rolls Royce" and I call her Ms. Freedom. I have Freedom .... when I get tired, I just put the seat down and "sit a spell" then get up and move on. I went last Friday and got checked out and measured for my new scooter... I can't wait to get it. I will be able to go down to the Bay all the time now. I sure had to go through the hoops ..... This time I went through Medicare.... MDA will pay so much toward it as part of my benefits because I have a form of Muscular Dystrophy and then Medicare picks up the bulk of the cost. The representative from the agency who came to measure me shared that they have had Medicare really clamping down on things because some individuals had a "scam" going on. I find that so sad. There are so many "honest" individuals who truly need the help. She said there was a rising cost due to the damage they had done.

I am so greatful I was approved. I ordered a really pretty blue one. My old scooter I am giving to the Loan Closet of MDA, they will get it taken care of and hopefully someone who needs one can use mine. I appreciate the fact that ten years ago they were able to help me get one. I feel it is so important to give back and pay it forward. I was given a kindness, therefore, let me pass it on if I can.

Thursday am I turned on my Christian Station that I always listen to and I was getting on my computer to check out my E-mails, when I heard: Is there a Thomas in your life and he is special, if so, play the name game and call blah blah blah.... I tried to get the number down pat as I dialed it, no dice, it was the wrong number. So I put the radio station name in as a search and it showed up and there was the number right there. So, I dialed it and the voice on the phone said, welcome to the name game, do you have a Thomas who is special in your life? I said,yes I sure do and he is my Caregiver. He then asked me why is he so special to you. I shared all that Wayne does for me unconditionally. He then asked my about my recovery, etc. Then he said, well, Jan, you are the winner, I pick you from all the other calls I have rec'd. I was so excited. I said you are? Thanks. I was just happy to share about Wayne. He then asked me for my address as he was going to send me the prize coupons. I said "Prize".... I didn't know you won something. I felt I already had won.... having Wayne in my life. I had won a dinner for four. Perfect timing..... Wayne's Birthday is coming up along with our 13th Anniversary. We got married on the 19th and his Birthday is on the 20th. I rec'd the envelope from them yesterday. It was such a surprise. It all happened so quickly, and then and there after it was all over... I sat and said thank you to God and then I realized how far I have come in my recovery. I had to move quick....I fumbled with the phone number... but, like I have shared, it happened within the blink of an eye. I had the insight to search their site and the number just popped up, which I know was a gift from God.

It is nice to see progress in my journey. I was so happy I am able to do something for Wayne. He goes by Wayne, however, his real name is Thomas.


God is a miracle maker and only HE can take care of the problems that are too big for us to handle. It is the Beast, Stroke, that wants to rob us of our joy, steal our love, and wreck havoc in our lives and homes. But we know that Positive Thinking and keeping the HOPE alive keep that Beast a thing of the past.


I try to keep this passage below near my heart at all times I so admire Helen Keller and the journey she had to go through.


"Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved."

Helen Keller

Her thought says a lot to me. More so, since I had my Brain Stem Stroke and I can apply it to others who are part of my daily living. I feel my soul has been strengthened, how could it not be? My ambition to continue getting stronger and learning to do more things for myself, that in itself is enough to inspire me to keep going forward. Success, awh, that is coming as well.

I just have to stay in the here and now and not project but stay in the moment of today.

I love to start each day with my "Attitude of Gratitude" List and give Praise and Glory to GOD for all he does for me.

This November will be my six year anniversary since this journey started. I celebrate all my progress, and it is my "Birthday" of my new life.

I have arranged for one of Wayne's buddies to be here for his special birthday dinner I am going to cook for him. He doesn't know he is coming. I want to surprise him.

My Friendly Visitor that comes weekly is going to cut up all the things I need to have cut up. And she is going to help me. I shared with her I wanted to try to do what I can first and then she can pitch hit with me. She finally agreed.

When I look around I see those Earthly Angels there to lift me when I fall, to be with me and love me unconditionally.

Life is good and I accept me as I am today.

I am Jan, a greatful BrainStem Stroke Survivor

My mission is to share my experience, strength and hope with others.

I will continue to believe in Miracles and Soar


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wow Jan:


such a wonderful entry. all your positivity overpowered all the sad news you first shared. I agree with you without knowing suffering & stroke I would never been able to enjoy the gift of life I am enjoying today.


thanks for uplifting all of us & joinng my favorite blog world




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Jan, wonderful examples of why we need to be grateful for friends, we never know what lies ahead for them or for us,


Happiness is your due for sure. I am so glad you won the dinner for four from the radio station, what a wonderful night out that will be, hope you and Wayne and friends have a great time.


((((HUGS)))) from Sue,

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You have been such a great friend to so many of us here on StrokeNet. I'm so glad that you won that dinner to enjoy with you husband and friends. What a nice gift to share with them. I'm so glad to hear that you are getting such great results from the 'Rollaider'.


"God is a miracle maker and only HE can take care of the problems that are too big for us to handle. It is the Beast, Stroke, that wants to rob us of our joy, steal our love, and wreck havoc in our lives and homes. But we know that Positive Thinking and keeping the HOPE alive keep that Beast a thing of the past. "


Thank you for everything you do!



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Hi Jan: I wanted to write to say what an earthly angel you are. Ten people haven't gone through what you have. God knows how special you are. You deserve the rollator and new skooter - good for you for pursuing it. Happy times are here again - a least for today.


And Wayne is one lucky dude. His bithday party sounded great - don't know how you do it all. Your suvivor friend, Leah


With God all things are possible

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