Cya CVA!

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Selfish post



(Originally posted February 18, 2009)


Almost every person I've talked to in the last couple of days has asked me how I'm doing. The answer you'll receive to this question varies greatly on when you ask me. I'll admit to having moments of great weakness when I sit in the dark, sobbing, wondering when and how we'll ever return to any semblance of normal life. I may seem like a liberated, independent woman. Emotionally, though, J.J. has always been the strong one.


Most of the time, though, I'm alright. I don't really have another choice. None of us would have chosen this path, but now that we're on it, I have to keep putting one foot in front of the other. I have only a limited amount of energy, and my husband and my children need it. I will continue to cheerlead for my man and perserve my children's lives in as intact a state as I can create. It's not like I'm doing any of this for fun; giving up is not an option.


For the last couple of days I've told J.J. at the end of the day that these have been probably the suckiest days of our lives, but at the close of each day one more day is behind us and we'll never have to relive it. Each minute that passes brings him that much closer to returning to me.


It helps that I have the support of awesome friends (including our co-workers, who are now firmly in the friend camp--I'm not going to segregate you into your own category) and a terrific family. And the most perfect husband ever, who is still the emotionally strong one in this relationship. And a loving Father who is with me every step of the way strengthening every fiber of my being. If my faith had ever wavered before in my life, it doesn't matter now. I know my God will see me through.


With that, I'm off to the hospital. I'll report in soon.


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